French Tart
by Query
Summary: If the tango was only meant for two, and three is a crowd, what do you call the third dancer?
1. Holiday Planning

General Disclaimer: The character Dee Lemma/Xiaohu/Query is the sole creation of me. Unauthorized use of my characters is not allowed. All other characters (Batman, The Riddler, and all other DC created Gothamites) are property of DC Comics.  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  
"Pack your bags, we're going on a trip!"  
  
"A trip?" I asked as I lay on our bed, his handkerchief held to my bleeding nose.  
  
I wasn't against a trip. In fact, I would look forward to a vacation after the crazy year I had. Getting kicked out of the Jade Tiger Triad, finding the man I had thought I would never see again, getting sent to Arkham Asylum, and topping it off with the latest acquisition of a Siberian tiger cub, the year definitely was marked as unique.  
  
Eddie, as in Edward Nigma, the Riddler, flopped onto the bed next to me, jarring me and making my head hurt more than it already did.  
  
"Do that once more, Riddle-boy, and I'll give you a taste of that punch I took for you tonight," I growled.  
  
His response? The damn man had to give me one of those infuriatingly mischievous smiles as he propped himself up on one elbow and rubbed my belly. Taking the handkerchief away, he kissed me. Not just a quick kiss, it was one of those lingering kisses that makes me want to give him absolutely anything he asks for. I had to push him away as breathing through my nose was not exactly the most comfortable thing at the moment.  
  
"Ok, Eddie. Where are we going? And what are we going to do with Tan?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. "I have a bathing suit that Madame Hsia made me," I added with my own grin.  
  
The look on his face told me plainly of the internal struggle he was having as his hand grew firm on my belly. "He'll come with us, of course. I won't make you leave your precious pet alone just yet." Giving my belly a pat, he got up and walked toward the bathroom, tugging his tie loose. "It isn't that kind of trip, Kitten. It's a business trip. The clock we just took is an item that I've been keeping an eye out for."  
  
Business. Of course. Slowly I sat up, wincing as my head throbbed. "So no bathing suits? No time alone?" I asked with a pout.  
  
"We might find a little time to ourselves. But the point of going is to sell off some items I've collected up for certain people. We need the money. I know you keep refusing your share, but now you've got the tiger to take care of and we'll need it."  
  
"He'll be needing space of his own, soon. Oh! We could have a habitat built for him where my room is, Eddie!" I said excitedly. "It can have a pool for him to play in, some plants, a bed..."  
  
"It's just a tiger, Kitten. I don't think he'll need that much."  
  
I went silent. "Eddie. You do know exactly what you've gotten into in getting him for me, don't you? He isn't like a regular housecat. Tan's needs are special. Where is he going to sleep once he reaches his full size, hm? I know you won't be wanting several hundred pounds of feline sleeping in the bed with you."  
  
He smirked at me through the mirror. "I've already got you. What difference would it make?"  
  
I threw a pillow, hitting him on the back of the head. He just laughed and ducked into the bathroom, dodging the second one. "Funny, Eddie!" I called after him.  
  
There was no response as he turned the squeaky water controls on for a shower. Rolling my eyes, I went to go feed Tangram and settle him into the room that still held my things. Since we had become lovers, I had ceased sleeping in the room that was supposed to be for me, and taken to sleeping in Eddie's room. Plus, he had never fixed the door he had kicked in the day we got into a huge fight.  
  
As mad as I had been at him, I couldn't help but smile at the fact that he would go and do something so brash as to kick my door in. Despite his idiotic idea that things weren't going to work between us because he thought I was too good for him, he still had fought to keep me. A fact I had pointed out to him, saying he wouldn't have gone to the measure of kicking the door down if he didn't care.  
  
Once Tangram had been fed, I went to feed myself with some leftovers. After his crack about me, Eddie could very well find his own meal. As I ate, I scratched Tangram behind the ears and talked to him. Before I was finished, the little cub was fast asleep. I carried him and put him on my old bed before heading into Eddie's room - our room - to take a bath before bed.  
  
Halfway between the bed and the bath, Eddie caught me around the waist. I never did make it to the bath that night.   
  



	2. The Collar

  
  
"So what, or rather _who_ is in Spain?" I asked after we had reached cruising altitude.  
  
"A good friend of mine, Señor Miguel Figaredo. He expressed interest in the Apis statue we took. Big fan of bulls." Making himself comfortable in the seats across from me, Eddie crossed his arms over his chest. "Just remember not to tell anyone about what your ring does and everything will be fine. The only feline with us is that little stinker," he said, pointing to Tangram who was curled on the seat next to me.  
  
In response, Tan lifted his head and glared at Eddie. In the short two weeks I had him, Tangram and I had formed a strong bond. While Tangram wouldn't hurt Eddie, there was obvious male head butting going on. But I suppose that's what happens one two tigers have one girl in common.  
  
"Ignore him, Tan, darling. You got a bath this morning. He, on the other hand, I can smell from here." I gave Eddie a little smirk as I said this, scratching Tan's ears. Gurgling happily, he rolled over for a belly rub.  
  
"Like mother, like son. I suggest you take a nap before too long."  
  
"Before you fall asleep, how about telling my why you brought me on this trip? You did bring them along," I said, jerking my finger at Benny and Trigger snoring away at the front of the little private jet.  
  
"Sometimes I need more muscle than just you. Besides, I want you to be more of the ambassador this time around."  
  
I snorted. "Me? Why me?"  
  
"Because I know you will be polite and show interest in people. If the Triad taught you anything, it was manners. Plus, people warm up to you easily. Just look at the guys since they came back."  
  
He had a point. When they had returned a few days ago, they had been as surly as before. Their attitudes had changed after a couple days, however, and they now treated me with a bit of respect. They willingly helped me with dishes and moving some of the heavier items around in my old room.  
  
"Just remember, Tiger, that you and I are spending some time alone at some point," I said, moving Tangram aside so I could lie down.  
  
With a chuckle, he rolled his eyes. "As you wish."  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  
A few hours later Tangram awoke me by pouncing on me and pulling my hair. Forgetting where I was, I gave a grumble and tried to roll over to get away from him. Eddie caught me under my arms as I rolled off the seats.  
  
"Good morning," he said, lifting me back into place.  
  
Yawning, I stretched and looked out the window, pulling Tangram against me. "Where are we?"  
  
"About forty minutes outside of our destination, Cartagena. Are you hungry?"  
  
I shook my head. "Did he eat?"  
  
"Ate and left a few unpleasant surprises," Eddie said, wrinkling his nose in disgust.  
  
"I'll clean it up," I said, standing.  
  
"I already made the guys clean it up. Keeps them occupied. He will need to be trained not to go where he pleases, Q."  
  
Mocking his actions as he shook a finger at me, I settled back into my seat, snuggling Tangram to me. "He's just a cub, Eddie. He'll learn in time." I buried my face in Tan's fur, smelling his musky scent. It made me feel comfortable and pleased me. "Maybe when we land we can go to a café to eat?"  
  
"Our host will be expecting us to eat with him. I'm going to go change. I expect you to do the same. Business attire, please."  
  
"'Business attire, please,'" I mocked under my breath as he turned and went toward the back of the plane to where there were two changing rooms. "Shall we then, Tan?"  
  
Setting him down, I let him follow me to my own room to change. I hated when Eddie went into "boss" mode, or what I liked to call "Evil Eddie." Once I was dressed in a long, green dress, I snuck a peek out to the front of the plane. Benny and Trigger were busy watching a movie, their backs to me. Tangram had returned to our seat, and was pressing his nose against the glass. Grinning, I tiptoed over to Eddie's little room, slipping through the curtain. My breath caught as he turned to face me.  
  
"I figured you'd come in here," he smiled, smoothing an eyebrow down with a fingertip.  
  
I must have sounded extremely intelligent just then as I tripped over my tongue, making nonsensical noises. It wasn't that the suit was anything special, but he just looked so cool and confident just then. The green of the suit brought out his eyes, and went perfectly with his black hair. The shirt was opened and I could just see the hollow of his throat, and the minute pulse of his jugular. Add to that the little cockeyed grin he was giving me, and I was speechless.  
  
"Nice to know I can make you feel the same way that I do when I see you," he chuckled. Stepping over to me, he tilted my chin up, his eyes twinkling merrily at me.  
  
Placing my hands on his chest, I leaned in for an expected kiss, closing my eyes. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek, before letting me go. He tugged his jacket straight, smiled, and ducked through the curtains.  
  
_He just... No. He wouldn't! But he did, Q! He just blew you off!_ "How dare he!" I grumbled to myself. With a growl, I stomped back to my changing room to finish getting ready. Sitting on the chair, I put on the shoes I had brought; some nice, strappy black ones. I had just finished with the last tie, when Tangram came running into the room, swinging his head madly around, front paws splayed and claws out.  
  
"Come back here, you little miscreant!" Eddie's voice was plainly annoyed. When he popped his head into my changing room, I could see the expression on his face matched.  
  
"Aw, honey. What's the matter?" I said, directing the question at Tangram as I picked him up.  
  
The tiger struggled in my lap as I tried to find the source of his discomfort. Right around his neck, pulled too tightly, was a collar, a common _dog_ collar. Frowning, I quickly removed the offending article. I eyed Eddie for one second before shoving the collar into his pocket and pushing past him. Tangram grunted at being held like a ragdoll, but didn't squirm out of my arms. I sat back in my seat and watched Eddie storm up to me, collar held in a white-knuckled fist.  
  
"Put this back on him now, Q."  
  
_So it's just "Q" now, is it?_ I coolly looked at the collar, then up at a very disgruntled looking boyfriend. "No."  
  
Eddie planted his fists on the armrests of my seat, leaning in, jaw set firmly. With the hostility radiating off Eddie, Tangram took a defensive position. The little darling. He was too small to really hurt Eddie. I knew the guys had to be watching this and glad that his anger wasn't directed at them.  
  
His face an inch from mine, he growled, "I'm not asking. I'm telling."  
  
"And I'm denying," I said, staring him straight in the eye.  
  
When Eddie attempted to put the collar on Tangram himself. I had to suppress a laugh when Tangram snapped at Eddie's fingers, just nipping the tips. He pulled back, glaring at the two of us. To his credit, Tangram puffed himself up and gave a rumbling growl, hissing at Eddie. Unbeknownst to him, all the time I spent running around in tiger form with Tangram was training. The cub was picking up my lessons, as well as hand signals quickly.  
  
"If he bites me again, Q, he's going back," he finally said, tossing the collar into the seat next to me. Turning on his heel, he stalked back into his dressing area. Silence filled the plane.  
  
Once I knew Eddie was back in his dressing room, I went back to my own. Digging through one of my bags, I pulled out a large jewelry box that I had received from old man Kittlemeier. Settling myself on the floor, my back to the curtain, I called Tangram over. Obediently he sat in front of me as I cracked the box open. Inside, nestled in the velvet was a circle of interconnecting question marks, made out of titanium, and painted Eddie's signature green. The tag question mark was fitted with a small homing device.  
  
"C'mere, darling," I said, presenting the collar to Tangram. He allowed me to clip it around his neck, and then puffed his chest up proudly, letting the drop question mark stand out in the white of his chest fur. I laughed as I dug the matching leash out. "Goofball."  
  
Setting the leash aside, I packed the box away into a cabinet. As I did, Tangram let out a small growl as the curtains across the way rustled.  
  
"I know. He can be such a jerk sometimes! There are times when I question his motives with me, y'know? Like when I wanted a kiss from him a few minutes ago. Just a kiss! What's he do? Acts like a total jerk. Then he tries to put that _horrible_ thing on you!"  
  
"He needs to wear a collar while we're out, Dee," Eddie said.  
  
I gasped and spun around to see Eddie casually leaning against the wall, his derby in hand. Gaining my composure, I tried to push past him. He grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me to the back of the room, pinning me against the opposite wall. It was times like this that I remembered exactly how much stronger than me he was, even if he never showed it. His grip was like iron, but never hard enough to hurt. His expression, and the way he held his body to mine said, "Remember, Kitten. I'm stronger than you, and you _will_ do as you're told." Still, I had my ring...  
  
"Now I know you could harm me right now, Kitten, but I trust that you won't so I don't have to hold you down and wrinkle that lovely dress of yours. For now, please call Tangram off before he ruins my slacks."  
  
Barely able to suppress a laugh, I looked down to see Tangram with a mouth full of Eddie's pant leg, tugging away. I flicked my hand, and said, "Off," pleased that he obeyed immediately. A scowl that reminded me so much of one of Eddie's settled on Tan's face as he sat behind Eddie and grumbled.  
  
"Now, where were we?"  
  
"_We_ weren't anywhere, Mr. Nigma," I said coldly, despite how turned on I was with him being so close. The soft scent of his cologne tickled my nose. Why did he have to make it so hard for me to be mad at him?!  
  
"We're always somewhere, Kitten. Face it." He quickly pressed a finger to my lips before I could say anything. "Shh. I don't need you to speak. The daggers from your eyes say it all." He released me all together, placing a hand on either side of my head and leaning in. "Seems we both realized that Tan would be needing a collar. Only you went and got him a nice one. I'm sure I'll find out how much that trinket cost when we get back."  
  
"I paid for it myself, thank you very much," I said, insulted that he would think I would spend his money on a fancy collar for my pet. "I do have money of my own. It's better than being dependant on..."  
  
He cut me off with a kiss.  
  
I pushed him away. "Don't!"  
  
"What's the matter?" he asked.  
  
"You! You can be so thick sometimes!" I said, crossing my arms across my chest and turning my back on him. I wanted to cry. Why did he have to do this to me? Why? Be such an idiot, and then go do something like that? I wanted to scream in frustration. I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and kiss the fool.  
  
"I'm sorry for not giving you a proper kiss earlier... I have a little present for you, if that helps?" he asked, sounding hopeful as he brushed aside my hair and placed a knee-buckling kiss on my neck. "I'm just nervous about this trip, Kitten. Having you here. It's different. I want everything to go perfectly."  
  
"I hate you so much, Eddie," I sighed as I gave in to him. I forgave this man far too easily. Probably because I knew what was pushing him to do the silly things he did. "So what's the present?"  
  
He grinned proudly as he pulled a palm-sized question mark from his pocket. The negative space of the punctuation was a screen, the dot a microphone/speaker.  
  
"Comm-unit. I only made two. One for you, one for me. Um... Just in case we get separated or something, you know?" he hurriedly added, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his head the way he did when he was nervous.  
  
"We are approaching the landing field, Mr. Nigma. Please prepare for landing," the pilot announced.  
  
"Guess my show of appreciation will have to wait," I said, tucking the little device into my bra. I gave his hips a little bump with mine as I walked out of the dressing area and to my seat. I had to smirk when Eddie took his seat across from me, frowning like a petulant little boy who had his dessert taken away. That was why I forgave him so easily. No matter what, he looked adorable. I'm such a sucker.   
  



	3. Roberto

  
  
A young Spaniard name Roberto greeted us. Eddie introduced me to him, telling the man I was his girlfriend and bodyguard. Roberto was courteous and charming, chatting amiably with me about Spain. On the ride to the Figaredo Estate in the black Rolls Royce, Roberto pointed things out, telling me some history of the area, more than happy to share his love and knowledge of his country with me.  
  
What amused me was how silent Eddie had grown as he sat, glaring out the window, grunting a response to anything I might ask. He was jealous. Jealous of me talking to Roberto, and vice versa. I leaned against Eddie, tucking my hand between his mid-thighs. He had asked me to be polite to people, and that's exactly what I was doing.  
  
_Let it go, Dee. Just let it go,_ I told myself. _You poor man. Don't you know by now how much I love you?_  
  
Eddie's body remained stiff with poorly concealed jealousy.  
  
Soon enough, we turned onto a gravel drive lined with poplars. To either side lay a swath of perfectly manicured lawn and garden. Diligent gardeners buzzed about, trimming here, straightening up there, like bees out collecting pollen. Cool fountains bubbled cheerfully throughout the landscape. In front of us, the Figaredo villa, built from red streaked sandstone, reared up.  
  
I took in a sharp breath. "Oh my good, sweet Gorshin! Roberto, this place is beautiful!"  
  
"It is one of the prides of Spain! The Figaredo family has lived here for seven hundred years! Much of the estate is more easily accessible by horseback. Do you ride?"  
  
"Me? Not in years, and never more than just a day trip for trail riding," I replied, trying to take in the beauty of the building.  
  
"If Señor Nigma does not mind, I would be glad to show you around on horseback after lunch."  
  
Señor Nigma gave a dissatisfied grunt, to which I replied with a gentle pinch of his thigh.  
  
"I would love that, Roberto. I'm sure he wouldn't mind in the least, would you, Eddie?" Before he could say no, I said, "Then after lunch, so long as it's ok with Señor Figaredo."  
  
Roberto brought the car to a stop at the front of the house. Servants immediately took our bags and swept into the house with them. After telling us that Señor Figaredo would see us at lunch in a half hour, Roberto excused himself to let his boss know we had arrived safely. A maid led us up the stairs and to our room. Benny and Trigger were placed in a room directly across the hall from Eddie and me.  
  
"Isn't this fabulous, Eddie?" I sighed, swirling around the room with Tangram in my arms before falling onto the bed.  
  
"Shh!" he snapped, walking slowly around the room with a little electronic device he had pulled from one of his bags.  
  
"Shh? Why? What's that?"  
  
He shot me a glare and silently finished his circuit of the room. Once he was finished, he tucked the device back from where he had taken it. "Bug scanner. Miguel may be my friend, but I never let down my guard." Cracking his neck and stretching his back, he added, "Now why don't you go do whatever little girly thing you need to do to freshen up so we can get down to lunch. And then you can go on your horseback ride with _Roberto_." The man's name came out with a sneer.  
  
_Girly..._ I suppressed the growl that threatened to come out of my throat. "You're jealous, Eddie. Admit it," I said, leaving Tangram to sprawl on the cool bed cover as I stormed over to Eddie.  
  
Eyebrow raised, he looked down at me. "Jealous? Of what? Of whom?"  
  
There was no tie around his neck for me to grab, so I squeezed myself between him and his suitcase, gripping his lapels. "Don't you play games with me Edward Nigma! Look me in the eye and tell me that you're not jealous I accepted Roberto's invitation for a tour!"  
  
Grim faced, he stared at me, his eyes sliding down to my chest as he spoke. "I'm not jealous."  
  
"My eyes are up here." I clicked my tongue at him. "You're terrible at lying to me, Eddie. But you're cute when you're jealous, so I'll let it go this time." I pulled him into a kiss, patting his bottom playfully. "And you know, all the girls in Arkham were chattering about who has the best butt among the men. They all think it's Nightwing. I think it's you."  
  
Snorting and scowling, he looked grumpier than before. Ignoring his gruff mood, I chuckled, hugging him tight, and giving the lock of hair on his forehead a playful tug.  
  
"Let's not start this trip off any more on the wrong foot than it already has, Tiger. I'm just being amiable like you told me to." I leaned up to kiss him again, only to be cut off by a knock at the door, and the maid arriving to direct us back downstairs and to the dining hall.  
  
Taking Tan's leash, I tucked my arm into Eddie's, and let him take me down to lunch. The place was filled far more than I expected. People wandered around, sipping wine as they slowly found their seats.  
  
"Ah, Eduardo! There you are!" boomed a voice.  
  
Eddie's body language changed as he turned to the source of the voice. A man of medium build, dark olive skin, and a thick bushy mustache stood before us. He wore a tailored brown tweed suit, and had a few very expensive looking rings on his fingers. But the man was very pleasant and cheerful looking, with deep creases around his eyes, mouth, and nose from smiling.  
  
"Miguel! It's a pleasure to see you again!" The two shook hands. "May I introduce..."  
  
"One of the most clever thieves in all of Gotham!" the man said with a conspiring wink. "You must be Dee Lemma, the lady who has stolen the heart of Gotham's most puzzling rogue! Señorita Lemma, I am Miguel Figaredo."  
  
I winced at my full name being said, but had to laugh and smile at Miguel's comment. He took my hand, placing a light kiss on the back and smiling slyly at Eddie. Once more Eddie's body language changed and the hand he had placed over mine on his arm pressed more firmly down.  
  
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Señor Figaredo," I replied, giving Eddie's arm a reassuring squeeze. "But please, call me Dee, or Query."  
  
"Very well, Dee, then you must call me Miguel." He waved us toward the table. "Please! You must be hungry after such a trip! Javier! Bring the lady some raw meat for her pet, would you?"  
  
A servant gave a quick nod and hurried off.  
  
Miguel sat us next to him for the meal. Eddie and Miguel chatted throughout the meal, leaving me to take in the trappings of the hall, as well as feed Tangram. The meal was nearly finished when Miguel addressed me.  
  
"Please forgive my manners. I have not seen Edward in quite a while, and he always has such wonderful stories to tell of his adventures!"  
  
"Eddie is a great storyteller, Miguel," I beamed with genuine pride. "And please, no worries about me. I've never been to Spain, so the decorations in your house are all new to me. I have enough keeping my eyes occupied, that I would probably make for poor conversation right now."  
  
"Perhaps you would like a tour? Yes! You must have a tour!"  
  
A grunt came from Eddie. Smiling pleasantly, I moved my hand that had been scratching Tangram's ear quite high on Eddie's inner thigh, applying just enough pressure to keep him quiet.  
  
"If it is ok with you, Roberto has offered to give me a tour of your estate."  
  
The smile nearly broke Miguel's face in half. "Bueno! Roberto is the perfect choice! He is the Estate recorder and always has his nose in one of the musty old record books. I should know more of the history of my own estate, but I am more interested in raising my bulls and making wine!" Jovially, he smacked the table as he turned to Eddie. "It is settled then! You will entertain me with more of your stories, while Dee is left in Roberto's more than capable hands!"  
  
After lunch, I went up to the room to change, asking Eddie to take me so I wouldn't get lost. Before I could say a word to him in the privacy of the room, he left once more. Shaking my head, I changed. On the way down, I was lucky to run into the woman who had been assigned to our room as our maid. She more than happily offered to take me to the stable yard where I had agreed to meet Roberto.  
  
"I hope it isn't an imposition if Tangram goes with us?" I asked as Roberto approached us.  
  
Instead of answering immediately, he pulled the maid into his arms and kissed her warmly. Quickly, I turned my head, knowing just what a kiss like the one the maid was receiving could do to a girl.  
  
"Excuse me. I just cannot help but greet my beautiful Maria with a kiss," Roberto explained.  
  
"It's fine, Roberto. I can understand."  
  
The maid blushed and excused herself.  
  
"He shall be no problem, Dee," he said, half here, half watching Maria walk away, coyly looking over her shoulder.  
  
"You serious about her?"  
  
"We're to be married in two weeks!"  
  
I couldn't help it. I started laughing just then.   
  



	4. Lessons in Trust

  
  
I hummed to myself as I twirled in front of Eddie while we walked down the hall to our room. Tangram leapt about in front of me, trying to bat my jacket I swirled around. Eddie had his hands shoved deep in his pockets, eyes hooded and brooding. All through dinner, he had been attentive if my wine glass needed refilling, or if I needed the salt or pepper. Once dinner was over, his gloom had returned due to my chattiness to Miguel about what an intelligent man Roberto was when it came to the estate.  
  
Back in our room, Eddie stripped his jacket off, tossing it neatly over a chair on the way to the bathroom. I heard him run a bath as I changed into my pajamas. After getting back from horseback riding, I had taken my shower and bathed Tangram. For a moment I sat brushing his fur before strolling into the bathroom.  
  
"I missed you today, Tiger," I said kneeling at the side of the tub by his head. I combed his hair back with my fingers, tracing a bead of sweat down his temple.  
  
He opened one eye, looked at me, and then shut it again, frowning.  
  
"You are so cute when you're angry and jealous, Eddie," I laughed.  
  
"Go away. I'm trying to forget the events of today," he grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest and sinking further into the water.  
  
I leaned over and kissed his check. He twitched, his frown deepening. A lick of his cheek got a grunt in response. When I kissed his ear, he fully submerged, his face looking as if he were sucking on a lemon. Rolling my eyes, I left the bathroom.  
  
"Fine, Edward! Be stubborn! Tell me to do something and then get angry when I do it! Just like a man!" I plopped myself on the bed and stood Tangram on his hind paws. "Why? You're male. Tell me. Why do they act like this? And they think women are hard to understand!"  
  
Tangram looked up at me, blinked, and wiggled free. I watched as he jumped to the floor and flicked his tail at me. He climbed into one of the chairs, curling into a ball and putting his tail over his eyes, making certain I knew the conversation was over.  
  
"You too?! What is this? You... _Males!_ Fine! Both of you can sleep in chairs tonight!" Lying down, I pulled the covers over my head, grumbling. "Roberto makes me listen to the grand plans for his wedding and how beautiful Maria is for half the ride, instead of answering most of my questions about the estate. Then my damned boyfriend thinks that I have the hots for this guy, when I obviously just want to be around him. Then, _then_ the one male I think I can trust unconditionally, decides to go off on his own when I just want someone to talk to and cuddle with! Stupid trip! Stupid males!"  
  
It was my turn to scowl when Eddie got into bed not five minutes later, and I was going to make the most of it. He tried to pull the covers off of my head, but I held them tight.  
  
"Chair!" I growled, thrusting a hand out and pointing in the general direction of his makeshift bed.  
  
"No," he said simply, pulling me against him.  
  
When I started to struggle, he pinned me, holding my wrists in his hands. In a second, he had removed my ring and tossed it onto the nightstand. Snarling, I renewed my struggle, angry that he had figured out what even the doctors at Arkham couldn't: how to remove my ring. He held me down more firmly, using his body. Panting, I stopped.  
  
"Get off me, Eddie!"  
  
"Ah, so it's Eddie. That means that you aren't terribly mad at me." He kissed my shoulder. "I just don't want to be scratched when I say what I'm about to. Yes, I am jealous. You're mine, and only mine. When another man comes near you, you can bet I'm going to be jealous," he said, licking my Jade Tiger Triad tattoo on my shoulder.  
  
"That's because you blatantly ignore me when I tell you I love you, or reassure you." Taking a deep breath, I slowly exhaled. "Get off me, would you? Then maybe I can prove that you have nothing to worry about."  
  
"You won't scratch me for what I just said?"  
  
"No. But if you don't move now, I will scratch you for not moving your ass!"  
  
Eddie pulled back quickly, smiling nervously as I glared at him, tossing the covers back. I turned my back on him and pulled my tank top off, twisting my hair together and pulling it over my right shoulder.  
  
"Tell me, Eddie. Would I have done this if I didn't love you? If I wanted to chase after every other man that comes along?" I snapped, as I glared at him over my shoulder.  
  
"When did you...?"  
  
"Last week when you were hanging out at the Iceberg. Manchu took me. We both figured you didn't need to know about it until it was done," I sighed, reaching for my shirt.  
  
His cool fingers brushed my skin, fingering the new tattoo on my lower back. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of his fingers, so light on my skin. Swallowing, I pulled my shirt to me, working to turn it right side out.  
  
"You did this for me?" he asked, stilling my hands.  
  
"No, Eddie. I did it for the other guy who wears a question marked derby just like the one I had tattooed on me!" I grumbled.  
  
No words came from him as he gathered me into his arms, drawing my back to his chest. He kissed my bare shoulder and worked slowly up my neck. I couldn't help it; I turned into a quivering mass of putty. The deliberate actions he was making were an obvious apology that he felt was said better with actions rather than words. As stubborn as he was, I was learning not to care how he apologized, just that he did.  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  
We lingered in bed the next morning, him kissing my eyelids as he teased me with riddles, while the morning sun warmed our bare skin. By the time we forced ourselves out of bed, I knew we were going to be late for breakfast.  
  
"What should I wear to the meeting, Eddie?" I asked as I tried to decide on an outfit.  
  
"You're not going. The boys asked for time off when we stop in France, so you get this time off. Find something to do to entertain yourself, but keep this afternoon open."  
  
"Oh? What's this afternoon?"  
  
He simply gave me a mischievous grin as he turned to the mirror to check himself. I decided on a pair of snug pants and a scoop neck shirt. The second I had finished dressing I turned to find Eddie frowning at me, arms crossed, and foot tapping.  
  
He cleared his throat. "Dee?"  
  
_Smile and act innocent._ "Yes, Tiger?"  
  
"I can't go to the meeting like this!" he said, jabbing a finger toward his throat. "Why? Why did you do it?" He turned back to the mirror, tugging the open collar of his shirt in vain attempt to hide the hickey.  
  
"You certainly didn't complain last night," I replied coolly, taking a tie from his open bag and looping it around his neck. Tugging his collar straight, I buttoned it up and fixed his tie. "You can't see it now, Tiger. Just suffer with a tie today. I'll make it up to you later."  
  
"You most certainly will," he grunted.  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  
Being me, I found myself in the kitchen, enjoying time talking to the cook and the scullery maids. They all spoke some English, and we had a great time of trying to understand each other. Eddie would probably thought it was a personal affront that I would spend time with the kitchen staff, scrubbing potatoes and peeling carrots for dinner.  
  
"I do not believe that it would be proper for you to be found in my kitchen, Señorita Lemma," Chef Rusk said, shaking one of his thick fingers at me.  
  
I rolled my eyes. "That's the third time you've said that to me since I got in here. What have I told you every time?"  
  
"That you are more suited to kitchen work than lounging around like the other guests here," he laughed heartily. "Just do not say anything to Señor Figaredo!"  
  
"And you don't say a word to Eddie about me being in here. I think he'd be just as appalled as Señor Figaredo." I leaned across the well-scrubbed oak kitchen table I sat at with the chef. "Both of them should spend more time in the kitchen. I don't think it would hurt either to have a hand in their own dinners."  
  
"Ah! Bite your tongue! Señor Figaredo may know good food, good wine, and a good bull, but he is not a cook!"  
  
"Eddie as well!" I laughed. "I tried to get him to make pasta primavera." I finished the story with a grim shake of my head, slapping my hand to the side of my face as I rolled my eyes skyward.  
  
Chef Rusk, as well as the kitchen staff that had been in hearing distance all joined in the laughter. We would all be in so much trouble if the two men heard us talking! But really, Eddie and the kitchen did not get on well past coffee, or heat and serve meals from the freezer. He spent more time breaking a recipe down into complicated formulas and rewriting them so that it resembled some crazy gibberish more than anything that could possibly be a recipe. I finally banned him from touching my cookbooks when I found he had replaced all of the recipes in one of my binders with his riddle-pes.  
  
Maria poked her head into the kitchen and waved frantically to me. "Señorita Lemma! They are looking for you! It is almost lunchtime and they wish to have drinks before! Hurry!"  
  
"Oops!" I quickly washed my hands and took off the apron I had borrowed. Giving Chef Rusk a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, I thanked everyone for letting me spend the morning with them and hurried out after Maria.  
  
"The men have gone crazy!" she hissed as we hurried through the halls.  
  
"Crazier than usual, you mean?"  
  
"Sí! It was the idea of _your_ man to do this." She shook her head. "Roberto and Señor Figaredo liked the idea, so they have called in a few others to join in. I have been given the afternoon off just for this."  
  
I grabbed her arm and stopped her. "Maria, what is going on?"  
  
"Tango lessons."   
  



	5. Sangría

  
  
"I hate you, Edward Nigma," I said as I trudged into the room. My feet were killing me, and he was grinning like a jack-o-lantern all lit up on Halloween.  
  
"I can tell."  
  
We had started practice immediately after lunch, up until dinner. Eddie insisted I practice with him more after dinner as well. I admit I enjoyed our hips being pressed together and being held tight by him once we got the basics down. Paso basico (salida, cruzado, resolucion). Those words were going to be stuck in my mind. I would be trying to tango in my sleep. Damn him!  
  
"You have some making up to do. How about a foot massage?" he said, lying back in the pillows, and wiggling his bare feet at me.  
  
My eyebrows went up. "Make up? Foot massage? Honey, I've done enough making up to you to last me a long time. I indulged your sick little tango idea for more than half the day. If anyone is giving anyone a foot massage, it's you giving me one," I said, sticking my foot on his stomach.  
  
Eddie pulled his tie off, and popped open the buttons, pointing to his neck. "You. Owe. Me."  
  
"Oh, really?" I slinked across him, half forming into a leopard. Unsheathing my index claw, I popped the buttons off his shirt, opening it midway.  
  
"Hey! No need to damage the clothing!" he protested, starting to sit up.  
  
Shoving him back, I parted the fabric and gave him a kiss like the one I had last night, right over his heart. He simply melted, turning into a further puddle of goo when I kissed the corner of his jaw. "There. Debt repaid," I said, sitting back toward the foot of the bed.  
  
"Ah huh," he grinned, looking drunk.  
  
"If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom, taking a long, _hot_ bath," I said, tugging his big toe. Slipping off the bed, I rolled my hips as I strolled to the bathroom, knowing he was watching me. Hey, if he was going to subject me to tango lessons, I was going to subject him to some not so subtle seduction.  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  
The next day after lunch, Eddie told me he had come to an agreement with Miguel for the Apis statue. We would be leaving for France after breakfast the next day. The bulk of the money had been transferred into one of Eddie's secret accounts, with enough cash to pay Benny and Trigger their wages for the trip. No doubt they'd spend it whoring and drinking while in Paris. As long as they enjoyed themselves, it was none of my business how they spent their money.  
  
Miguel had planned a big party for the night. While Eddie was in the meeting, I had gone back to the kitchen and chatted with Chef Rusk as he showed me how to make his special paella. That was to be the centerpiece dish for tonight's festivities. Casks of wine were brought up from the cellar, along with cordials, brandy, and enough various liquors to get a small army pleasantly smashed.  
  
"See? Teaching you how to dance is paying off," Eddie said as he twirled me around on the dance floor.  
  
"Mm. After yesterday, you should be thankful I'd even dance with you. That was just cruel to do to me yesterday."  
  
"Cruel? What you did to me last night was cruel. Be thankful I let you come to this party."  
  
"Oh, yes. And if I weren't here, you'd be dancing with Benny or Trigger," I said, nodding to where the two men stood with Tangram, drinking wine.  
  
"No, I'd be sitting in a corner with Miguel, drinking brandy, and smoking a cigar. In fact, we'll probably do that later tonight," he said.  
  
"Cigar? So you're sleeping on the chairs tonight. Because if you dare come to bed smelling of cigar, you will not touch or kiss me at all." Smoking. I never knew he smoked!  
  
He dipped me and smiled. "I never had a partner to dance with. Not one who was willing to learn something new with me without question. I've always wanted to learn how to tango."  
  
"No smoking," I said, determined not to let him throw me off the subject.  
  
"And it certainly was fun to have those lessons with you yesterday. Admit that you had fun learning," he said, twirling me off the dance floor.  
  
The man was quick. I didn't see him snag a couple glasses of champagne from one of the trays being circulated. He offered one up to me. I took hold of his tie instead, pressing my body against his.  
  
"No. Smoking." Under his jacket, I traced down his spine, tucking my hand into the waistband of his slacks, gently caressing the small of his back. "I'll be very disappointed if you smoke tonight, Tiger," I added in a hushed purr.  
  
Eddie's scent changed. He remained outwardly cool looking, and in control, but his scent was now sharper, muskier, and spicier. I took the offered champagne from his hand, sipping it as I turned my back to him and stared at the couples still swirling on the dance floor. Just as I expected, his free hand circled around my waist, resting on my belly and holding me to him. I smiled as I sipped my drink.  
  
"Eduardo, would you care to join me and Roberto for a drink? We must help this young man have as much fun as we can before he gets married!" Miguel said, Roberto and Maria following behind.  
  
"Go ahead. Maria and I can sit and talk while you three go be men." Removing Eddie's hand I hooked my arm into Maria's. I smiled at her, winking. "Let's find our own place to talk. It isn't just the men who need to have fun before marriage," I quipped, taking Tangram from Benny and Trigger who had made it over to us.  
  
Maria led me off, saying something in rapid Spanish to one of the waiters carrying a tray. The man smiled and nodded, heading toward the kitchen. She took me out to a small garden, where we sat together on a swinging bench.  
  
"So, tell me, Maria. How did you manage to get Roberto?" I said, genuinely interested. Me getting with Eddie had been a fluke.  
  
"He has lived here most his life. His mother and father both came to work for Miguel's family when Roberto was just a child. His mother used to be the recorder and historian here. His father is still in charge of the vineyards. Roberto took over the job of recorder when he came back from studying at the university. His mother turned her job over to him, and took to hiring the staff. She hired me." Maria got a far off look as she smiled up at the night sky. "Roberto's room happened to be one of the rooms I was assigned to. He used to make certain he would 'accidentally' forget something so that he would have to come back to his room when I was cleaning."  
  
"Clever," I laughed.  
  
"Mm. He used to leave me little gifts, a rose, some chocolates, or a book. Eventually he asked me out." She shook her head. "He still leaves a rose on my pillow sometimes. I never thought a man like him would be interested in someone like me. I'm just a maid, he's a scholar."  
  
"Nonsense! Obviously he's smart enough to see past a simple job title. And you are smart enough to keep his interest. Always remember that," I told her.  
  
The waiter came back then with a pitcher and two glasses. He set the tray down, handing us both drinks before disappearing again. I sniffed the drink, wondering about the fruit floating in it, looking askance at Maria.  
  
"Sangría. Red wine, vodka, and vermouth. It is the drink of Spain," she explained. "And it will get you drunk enough to put up with Edward."  
  
I couldn't help but laugh then. "He has his moments, but he isn't that bad!"  
  
"Perhaps. But you have changed him quite a lot. He used to be so stuffy and cold. How did you end up with him?"  
  
"Wait! Tell me how he was before! I want to know!"  
  
"Bitter. Very bitter and unhappy. Odd. He would dance with a girl only because Miguel had convinced him that it was fun. He always looked like he was sucking on lemons!" She clicked her tongue in disapproval. "Some very beautiful women were interested in him..." She stopped and looked at me. "I'm sure you know how attractive he is. The fact that he is a famous thief was a big attraction for many of the girls."  
  
"Of course." I wasn't too happy about him not telling me about all the other women he had after him.  
  
"Now tell me how you met him. I am curious to know how you managed to capture him!"  
  
I told her the truth, saying that we had originally met years ago at a carnival, but that it wasn't until a few months ago that we had seen each other again and gotten together from there. What I didn't tell her was whom I had worked for when I met Eddie, nor what I was doing in the museum the night I had run off with him. Some details no one needed to know. I was determined to keep my triad background a secret for as long as possible. At any rate, I doubted it would be believed that a white girl was part of a Chinese triad. My past was no one's business but my own. Even Eddie didn't know everything.  
  
Maria smiled. "He is happier now. That's what matters. Still," she began, filling my glass with more sangría, "it never hurts to cushion yourself."  
  
We spent the rest of the night giggling and telling stories about our boyfriends and some of the strange things they had done. By the time I stumbled upstairs with Tangram, I could barely keep my eyes open from the sangría and all the champagne I had drank that night. I was half asleep when Eddie came to bed. He still smelt passionate (and thankfully not of cigars), but he got no further with me than a kiss or two before I fell asleep.   
  



	6. The Frog

  
  
Roberto drove us back to the little airport the next morning after an early brunch. I had really enjoyed my stay at the Figaredo Estate, and made Eddie promise that he would come back to visit some time without it being a business trip.  
  
Still tired from my late night, I slept most of the flight to France. Eddie woke me shortly before we were to land and had me change into something suitable for bodyguard duty. I wore a pair of snug black pants that hugged around me like a second skin, and a frothy green fitted top that flared slightly at the hips.  
  
When we stepped off the plane, Benny and Trigger dismissed themselves quickly and hurried across the small airstrip to the train stop. I wondered at the hurry they were in to get to the station when the train wouldn't arrive for another half hour. A black Mercedes was coming toward us, and the boys looked like startled animals as they hurried away.  
  
I didn't think much of it when a dark haired, busty woman, wearing an impossibly tight outfit, and showing far too much cleavage, stepped out of the car. The driver tipped his hat at Eddie and me before picking up the first of the bags. I helped, taking the bag that contained the solid gold Indonesian snail shells we had taken on the first job I worked with him. Settling that in the trunk, I walked back over to Eddie and the woman.  
  
"I have waited for your return, Edward. To see you again is a sublime pleasure," the woman gushed, taking his hands and kissing his cheek. She had a thick French accent that was almost hard to understand. "You are looking better and better each time I see you."  
  
"It is a pleasure to see you again as well," he said, kissing the back of her hand.  
  
A flare of anger rushed through me as the woman tucked her arm into Eddie's as I approached.  
  
"Your men are not staying with you this time?" she asked, sounding far too hopeful, looking at the retreating figures of Benny and Trigger.  
  
"Not this time. I have a new bodyguard," he said, indicating me with a wave of his hand. "Dee Lemma. She's new."  
  
_New? I'm not that new, Eddie,_ I grumbled to myself, taking Tangram from the pilot. I really wished he would stop telling everyone my full name. I hated it. Why couldn't he just introduce me as Query? "Please, call me Query," I said, extending my hand.  
  
The woman looked at me as if I were covered in stinking swamp mud. "This child is to replace your two men? Really, Edward, do you think it is proper?"  
  
"She might look young, but she's excellent at her job. This is her pet, Tangram," he said.  
  
"Isn't he precious," the woman said, reaching out to pat Tangram on the head.  
  
Like a good tiger, Tangram hissed and swatted at the woman's hand, claws extended. _Good kitty,_ I said to myself, calmly stroking him under the chin.  
  
The woman glared at me. "He is dangerous, Edward! You do not intend to let her bring that... _Thing_ into Henry's house, do you?"  
  
"Query, control him," Eddie snapped, turning to the woman. He covered her hand with his, patting it reassuringly. "He's probably just tired from traveling. Tangram is never off his leash when out of the room. You have nothing to fear from him."  
  
_But plenty to fear from me, you slut!_ I wanted to snarl as she puffed chest up, pressing her breasts against Eddie's arm. Glowering, I replied, "Yes, Mr. Nigma." _And thank you for introducing me to this French bimbo!_  
  
"I certainly hope not! We should be going now, Edward. Henry is having a small dinner for you tonight. I'm certain you wish to freshen up before hand. Come. You may ride in back with me and tell me what you have been doing since we last saw each other," she said, pulling him toward the car. Before I could get in, she pulled the door closed, rolling the window down. "There is no room back here for you and your pet. Sit up front," she said haughtily. There was an unspoken, but implied, "where you belong" in her words.  
  
"Yes, Ma'am." I took Tangram to the front, settling myself in the seat. "'There is no room back here for you and your pet,'" I mimicked softly. The driver chuckled as he pulled away from the plane. Thankfully, or rather not, there was a piece of glass separating the back from the front. I was glad, because it gave me time to make faces and mock the woman. I was angry, because I couldn't see what was going on back there, only being able to make out part of the conversation and the woman's tittering giggle. More than anything, I wanted to reach back there and throttle her.  
  
The tables had been turned, and I was stuck being the one to glare out the window on the ride to the chateau. What angered me was that Eddie had not told me the woman's name, nor had he said I was anything other than a bodyguard to him. If that was how he was going to play it, fine. I would treat him as an employer and nothing more until he apologized for being so rude.  
  
The driver spoke only when we reached the chateau, announcing to me that I had arrived at Henry Clef's Estate. I thanked him as he helped me unload the bags, while Eddie continued to be absorbed in his conversation with the vacuous twit. Taking possession of the shells, I held Tan's leash in one hand as a young man took the bags.  
  
"Henry is very excited about the things you have brought for him," the woman said, looking a bit too cozy at Eddie's side.  
  
"Ah, they will only be his after we have agreed on a price," he chuckled, walking right past me and into the house.  
  
Seething, I followed them into the main hall, a few steps behind.  
  
"I must go and make certain that everything will be ready for tonight. The maid will show you to your room," she said, waving at a woman who approached us. "Please forgive me for turning you over to a servant, Edward?"  
  
"It's fine. I'll see you in the dining room tonight." He gave her a little bow before smiling to the maid who led us up to our room.  
  
When the woman tried to show me to a different room, I almost took it. Eddie stopped me, telling the maid that we were sharing a room. I rolled my eyes, amazed that he remembered I was there. When the bags were set in the room, the maid asked me if I would need anything else.  
  
"Blankets and a pillow, please," I requested while Eddie was out of earshot, digging through his bag.  
  
"Yes, Mademoiselle."  
  
"Please, call me Query. Unless there's a rule that says servant's can't call each other by name?"  
  
"No rule like that," she smiled. "I am Anna."  
  
"Pleased to meet you, Anna. You're the first one who's name I know."  
  
She smiled, and then excused herself. I went into the bathroom to wash my face, ignoring Eddie who sat on the bed checking the shells over. Tangram made himself comfortable on the couch where I had decided I was going to sleep. I didn't think it would be proper for a bodyguard to sleep in the same bed as her employer.  
  
"Are you ready to go down to dinner?" Eddie asked sometime later.  
  
I looked up from where I sat with Tangram, reading a book. "Yes, Mr. Nigma," I said snapping Tan's leash on.  
  
He gave me a strange look, straightened his tie, and headed out. As we walked down to the dining room, he spoke.  
  
"Henry is a strange old man. He gets it in his mind that he wants something, and he'll pay whatever to get it. Negotiations with him are fairly simple, but just as dull as any others." He paused wagging a finger at me without looking at me. "Tangram must be kept under control. I don't want to see him lashing out at anyone the way he did earlier. What he did at the airport was uncalled for. You had better teach that animal who is an enemy and who is not."  
  
"He's a wild animal. He survives off his instincts about people," I replied coldly.  
  
"Edward!" the woman called, waving at him from across the hall.  
  
It irked me that he still hadn't told me her name.  
  
"Darling, Henry is already seated and waiting for you," she said, jiggling over and taking his arm. She tugged him toward the dining room.  
  
"Then I shouldn't keep him waiting, should I?" he smiled.  
  
I ground my teeth as he escorted her into the dining room, pulling her chair out before sitting in his, directly across from her. Taking my seat right next to him, I didn't wait for Eddie to introduce me to the man who was obviously Henry Clef. He was pleasant enough, a complete opposite of the woman who interrupted me and insisted on both men giving her undivided attention as she related a story of one of her shopping trips into Paris to find the outfit she wore.  
  
Blah, blah, blah. Would she ever shut up?! I took to studying the coat of arms, banners, and other pieces of the past that hung from the high vaulted ceiling of the dining hall, tucked in among the chandeliers.  
  
"Vanessa, I think our guests would find a good night's sleep beneficial," Henry finally said after half the people at the table had excused themselves to go to bed. "You may chat with him more tomorrow." He paused. "After the meeting."  
  
"Of course, Henry," said Vanessa.  
  
Finally, a name to her face. I could now curse her name instead of thinking of her as "that woman." Not that I was going to think higher of her because I had found out her name. What I was pleased to notice was Henry's exasperation with Vanessa. I wondered what her relationship with him was. Her forward manner made me think she was his girlfriend, but her obvious flirting with Eddie made me dismiss the fact. Certainly she would probably flirt with Eddie either way, but Henry didn't come across as the type of man to put up with that.  
  
I left Eddie in the room to take Tangram for a walk. No words passed between us. At the moment, I was so angry with him, I didn't care if anyone did try to do anything to harm him. It would serve him right! When I returned to the room, he was safely in bed, going through a notebook, crossing things off and scribbling down new notes. Ignoring him as he had been ignoring me, I took Tangram into the bathroom with me for my shower. He was co-operative as I blow-dried his fur, rolling onto his back so I could dry his belly.  
  
Dressed in my pajamas, I left the bathroom. Eddie was asleep by the time I had finished. I made up my bed on the couch and curled up to sleep with Tangram in my arms.  
  
I hadn't been asleep long when the sound of the doorknob being rattled woke me. Hushing Tangram who started to growl, I changed into a black panther and awaited the person who was now sneaking into the room.   
  



	7. Midnight Meeting

  
  
Vanessa crept across the room. With my feline vision, I could see her perfectly, and I was trying my best not to gag. It took all my effort to keep a feline laugh from happening when she banged her shin into a table. She swore under her breath, stopping to make certain she hadn't been heard. Because I was waiting to see what she was up to, she felt herself safe, thinking that Eddie was alone in the room. The maid must not have told her that I didn't take the other room.  
  
She passed into a shaft of light from the window, and I suddenly found it harder to suppress my gag reflex. The woman was practically naked, dressed in skimpy lingerie and a flimsy, see through negligee. Mr. Oblivious Eddie was still asleep, the jerk. Vanessa stood at the side of the bed, slipping the negligee off her shoulder and opened her mouth to speak. I took that very moment to flick my tail out at her.  
  
Fear gripped her as my tail wrapped around her ankle. I could see the color draining from her face as she looked down and saw my tail. Entering her field of vision, I stretched, making certain to yawn and show off my claws and fangs. Removing my tail from her ankle, I took a step toward her, licking my fangs as I gazed up at her. A blood-curdling scream ripped from her throat. Like smoke I vanished back into the shadows, only to emerge in human form.  
  
"Shut up, Vanessa! Would you please shut up!" bellowed Sleeping Beauty as he sat up in bed, hands over his ears.  
  
Her mouth remained open, but the noise died away as she burst into tears. I flipped on the lights, squinting a bit. Eddie took his ears off his hands, looking at her standing next to the bed in bright red lingerie, then at me in my tank top and shorts.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" he demanded.  
  
"Ask the Frog here. She just snuck in a minute ago, very noisily, I might add," I said, pinning her with a glare.  
  
"I... I just..." With a squeaky gasp, she burst into fresh tears and flung herself onto Eddie. She curled herself onto his lap, holding him tightly and sobbing.  
  
"Query, what happened?"  
  
"_Ask her_," I repeated. "I'd like to get back to sleep!" I kept my voice level, with only a slight edge of irritation.  
  
Eddie pushed her back a bit. "Vanessa, what is the damn matter?"  
  
"C-c-cat! B-big one!"  
  
"Tangram is not big, Vanessa," he said. I was pleased to hear his voice colored with disgust.  
  
"Not him! B-black! It tried to kill me!" she gasped. "Make that child take her wretched pets away! They should be locked up, the filthy creatures!"  
  
"I could say the same about you, you trollop!" I muttered under my breath, balling my fists up. Hitting her right now would make me feel so very good. However, she was pushing me toward it, and I was not about to indulge the little tramp.  
  
"Query only has Tangram, the little tiger. There is no other cat here, right, Query?" he said, shooting me a disappointed look.  
  
"That's right," I said, ignoring his disapproving look. "I've only got Tangram. But she still hasn't told you what she's doing here, Mr. Nigma. By the way she's dressed, I'm sure it was a 'private business meeting,' wasn't it?"  
  
Vanessa curled up against Eddie, her tears stopped, as she put her arms around his neck, shooting me an amphetamine glare. Her eyes narrowed as she pressed her big boobs against Eddie. "I came to inquire on his comfort. I did not expect _you_," she sniffed contemptuously, "to be in the room with him."  
  
"Obviously. But I wouldn't be a very good bodyguard if I slept in a different room than him when there's just me, would I?"  
  
"You're not a very good guard if I got this far into the room," she said, calm now.  
  
I grinned at her, saying, "Yes. And the way you almost fell on your face as you so gracefully ran into that table! I could barely contain my amusement. Sorry, darling. But I was watching you from the second you turned the doorknob."  
  
Her face started to turn as red as her outfit as she tried to contain her... What? Anger? Embarrassment? Indignantly, she pouted, turning back to Eddie. "Edward, why do you allow your servant to speak to me so? And you allow her pets to attack me! I know what I saw! It tried to kill me."  
  
"Nothing tried to kill you. Look around. The only feline present is Tangram. He might scratch and bite, but he's too small to kill anything much larger than himself." He paused, putting one hand on her thigh, the other around her waist. He looked up at her. "As for Query, no one can keep her from speaking her mind. But she is an excellent bodyguard. Now I think we should all go back to sleep. I need to be rested for the tedium of the meetings tomorrow."  
  
"Very well, Edward. Would you walk me to the door at least? I don't want an unexpected attack," she said, stroking his face.  
  
I wanted to throttle the pair of them! How dare he! He was my boyfriend, and he had his hands all over this... This _whore_! Why was he doing this? Why was he being such an asshole to me? Yes, Vanessa was - whatever the hell she was to Henry. He had to be nice to her. But he should not be treating me like dirt and indulging this bitch! Where his sense had gone, I had no idea, but I knew which head was doing the thinking.  
  
"Sure," he said.  
  
I watched from where I was as he walked her to the door, stepping out in the hall with her. Scowling, I shifted into a tabby and hid myself where I could watch and listen to what happened in the hall. Eddie had his back to me, but I could plainly see Vanessa from where I was.  
  
"Really, Edward. You should hire a more pleasant bodyguard. Not a child like that. It isn't right for her to speak and act like that to you or your guests. Plus, she shouldn't sleep in the same room as you. It is just indecent! You can't have any privacy!"  
  
"I have plenty of privacy. I told you, she's a great bodyguard. Finding one that won't rip me off is a plus. Also, I'm positive she wouldn't be likely to take a bribe to rat me out like some of my past hired help."  
  
"But why does she need such a dangerous hobby as those large cats? I would have preferred they remain on the plane. She should have remained on the plane, good or not. How will I ever get you alone?" she asked, a slight giggle in her voice. I saw her once more drop the negligee from her shoulders. "Do you like it? I wore it special for you."  
  
Eddie sighed. "I can't leave my bodyguard on the plane. She can't leave Tangram on the plane. And there is only _one_ cat!"  
  
"I know what I saw, Edward! It was a large, black cat! Maybe a panther. They are black, no?" She paused for a moment, then added, "Come to my room. We can have 'negotiations' there. Show each other our assets."  
  
Vanessa dropped her negligee to the floor and quickly took her bra off. Taking Eddie's hand, she slapped it to her breast, moaning. Eddie made no move to back away as she rubbed his hand on her breast. I cringed as she put her hand into her panties and started playing with herself.  
  
_That's just..._ I stopped that thought as she pulled her hand out and held her fingers up.  
  
"Come, Edward. I'm offering a free sample of my product. It's the finest French food you will ever eat in your life. I am dying to sample that American sausage you brought with you." She put her middle finger in her mouth, groaning. "Taste it, Edward. It is so good!"  
  
Finally Eddie moved, tugging his hand off of her breast. Vanessa's overly abundant breasts jiggled like a bowl of Jell-O.  
  
"If you will excuse me, I need to get back to sleep," he said, walking back into the room and closing the door on a stunned looking Vanessa. He locked it and leaned against it, looking more than a bit frustrated. "Query?"  
  
I stepped out, not bothering to shift back into human form. Giving him an indifferent stare, I sat on my haunches, the tip of my tail slowly twitching.  
  
"Do not let her get past this door again, understood?"  
  
I blinked in answer.  
  
"Do not pull another trick like you did, either. She might figure things out."  
  
To this I responded with cat laughter, which sounded like sporadic purring, my lower jaw dropping in feline amusement. I laughed so hard I fell onto my side, waving my paws in the air.  
  
Eddie just frowned at me as I rolled on my back. "One more thing. Would you please change back? I'd like some company in bed."  
  
This made me stop. I stood up, flicking my tail in annoyance as I strolled to the couch where Tangram still laid. Leaping lightly up, I curled myself up between his front paws. He nosed me, and I responded by growling at him to settle down. From my safe spot, I glared at Eddie.  
  
"Please, Kitten?" he pleaded, coming to the couch.  
  
I answered him by curling my tail over my eyes. He sighed and I heard him return to bed, turning the light off. Once certain he was preoccupied with his current thoughts, I shifted back and went to sleep.   
  



	8. Hey, Jealousy!

  
  
The next morning I stayed out of Eddie's reach as I got ready. He never said sorry for what happened. In fact, he didn't even speak about it. If he had tried to kiss me, I would've hit him I was so mad! As far as I was concerned, he could deal with Vanessa pawing at him outside of the room. I would obey Eddie's request to the word: Vanessa would not set foot inside the room while I was there, unless by Eddie's allowance.  
  
Henry was very courteous at breakfast, asking me questions about Tangram, and playing with him. Tangram was very entertaining, performing tricks for Henry in exchange for chunks of meat. As for Vanessa, she kept her eyes on Eddie through the whole meal, a slight smile on her face. To my pleasure, she spoke very little. Eddie kept his eyes trained on his plate, speaking only when spoken to.  
  
Curious, I pretended to bend down to retrieve my napkin. Now I knew why the trollop looked so happy. With her shoe off, she was busy stroking Eddie's leg, wiggling her foot, or trying to wiggle her foot, between his knees. I sat back up and caught Tangram's attention, flashing a few simple hand signals at him. Obediently, he trotted over and under Eddie's chair. Eating a bit of egg, I watched Vanessa. She froze and turned as white as the tablecloth, her eyes closing as she trembled.  
  
"Vanessa, dear, is something wrong?" Henry asked her.  
  
"Th-that fleabag tried to bite me!" she said, shooting me one of her angry looks that made her look more constipated than anything.  
  
"Tangram? Why would he bite you?" I asked innocently, looking under the table. Her legs were now curled close to her chair. "He's just laying down by Mr. Nigma's feet. Did you somehow kick him?"  
  
"The beast tried to bite me! I did nothing!" she hissed defensively.  
  
"But, Vanny, Edward is on the other side of the table," Henry said looking under the table. "And Tangram is right between his feet, quite out of your way." Henry was obviously playing dumb for Vanessa's benefit. It was unfortunate that Vanessa was too stupid to realize this.  
  
"I was stretching my legs, Henry," she sniffed.  
  
I couldn't help myself. "Why were your legs stretched out so far that they would end up between Mr. Nigma's legs?" I asked with a straight face.  
  
The rest of the guests at the table were now interested in seeing Vanessa become a piece of gossip. She blushed furiously at my question. In all truth, the table was plenty wide enough for her, and the seats spaced out enough, that if she wanted to "stretch her legs" as she claimed, she could do so without bumping into anyone. Had the table been crowded, her story would have been more believable.  
  
"Why don't you take a stroll outside, Vanessa? That way you may stretch your legs without any trouble," Henry suggested.  
  
"I think I will do just that," she replied softly, her voice frosty around the edges. "If you'll excuse me." She shot me a dirty look as she left the table, a look that was noticed by many at the table.  
  
We finished breakfast and Eddie excused himself to take a walk as well before the meeting. Henry agreed that some fresh air would do him good as well, and excused himself to find Vanessa. Eddie wandered out the back of the house, down the stairs and out onto the huge lawn. Once he got to the center, he turned to face me.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"I'm not certain what you mean," I replied.  
  
"You're acting strangely. Sleeping on the couch, attacking Vanessa, in _cat_ form, nonetheless, making snide remarks this morning, having Tangram bite her foot..."  
  
"Hold it right there, Edward Nigma! One, I did not attack her last night. I merely frightened her. She didn't see me change. Forgive me, but I thought I was your bodyguard. I was doing my job. And finally, Tangram _did not_ bite her! He sat at your feet by my signal. I must have misread your body language in thinking that you were not enjoying Vanessa's attentions. I'll stay out of it next time. Remember this though, you ordered me to keep her out of the room, and I will. On _my_ terms."  
  
He got a stubborn look on his face right then. Stubborn, because he wanted to be right about what I had done. Rather, what Vanessa said I had done.  
  
"You shouldn't even be discussing this before your meeting."  
  
"We will discuss this when I want, which is now," Eddie said, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked so good right then, all strict and evil. And he was! But I was determined not to let him win.  
  
"You've got..." I paused to check my watch, "thirty minutes."  
  
"What we don't finish talking about now will be discussed after lunch."  
  
"Yes, sir," I said dryly and with a hint of disinterest.  
  
"Stop calling me 'sir'!" he said tersely.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Nigma."  
  
"You can drop the act. No one is around to hear us."  
  
"What act, Mr. Nigma. I'm just a hired bodyguard, nothing more," I said icily.  
  
"I know what the problem is. You're jealous of Vanessa, aren't you?"  
  
"Why should I be jealous of an idiot like _her_?"  
  
"Because she's blatantly hitting on me."  
  
"_Ha!_ That's really putting it mildly. The woman shows up in your bedroom wearing practically nothing, jumps into your lap for a cry, and when she gets you out into the hall, she takes her bra off and plays with herself to try to get you to go to her room with her for 'negotiations'. This morning she's busy entertaining herself with a game of one-sided footsie. Did I forget anything? Oh, yes. From the moment we landed, the tramp has been trying to get into your pants for a sample of your 'sausage'!"  
  
He smirked. "See? To notice all of that, you have to be jealous."  
  
"No, I'm a bodyguard. I'm paid to be observant. Certainly I've observed far more than that. Being paid to keep an eye on you, I have observed that you have done nothing to discourage her. In fact, I'd say your lack of action is _en_couraging her to try harder thinking you're playing hard to get. You seem to be enjoying some of what she's doing, at any rate."  
  
"Hold it right there!" he began.  
  
I cocked my head and looked at him, holding up my watch. "Sorry, boss! Meeting time. You don't want to be late."  
  
Grumbling, he complied, muttering something about finishing this later. I tried not to laugh at the way Eddie stalked back, fists at his side, snarling under his breath. Outside the meeting room door, Eddie straightened himself, took a deep breath, and walked in.  
  
Hefting the bag I carried to the table, I laid out the shells on a piece of velvet exactly as Eddie had told me. A man Henry introduced as an appraiser carefully picked up each shell, examining it. Another man flipped through historic pictures of the shells, examining each one as well.  
  
While this all went on, I watched over the shells, leaving Henry and Eddie to discuss prices should Henry like what his appraiser and historian told him. Whether the prices talked about were in the thousands, tens of thousands, hundred of thousands, or into the millions, I had no idea. The way the two were tossing around numbers made my head swim. I never had been good with numbers, although I did fine with math.  
  
Lunch was brought in for us. Eddie and Henry moved out to the little patio off the meeting room, still within my eyesight as I stayed with the stupid shells. I leaned against the wall, eating a sandwich, feeding bits of it to Tangram who sat in a chair. Now and then Eddie would glance at me, tapping his watch and shaking a finger at me. Whatever his problem was, I didn't care.  
  
Finally, I was allowed to pack the shells back up. The two men were going to do a bit more research and report back in the morning with their findings. With an hour left before dinner, Eddie headed back up to the room. He said nothing to me, preferring to take some time to rest before dinner.  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  
At dinner, Vanessa kept me entertained, nervously glancing under the table the whole time. Tangram had played a good deal during the meeting and in the room. Once he had his dinner, he fell asleep under Eddie's feet. I wasn't about to tell Vanessa that the only thing that would wake the little glutton up was more food. As long as her fear kept her and Eddie apart, it was fine with me.  
  
When dinner ended, Vanessa carefully approached Eddie, and asked, "Would you like to come to my room so we may finish the - discussion we started last night?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Vanessa," he replied, "but I've already planned a meeting with Query on today's proceedings. Haven't I, Query?"  
  
"Hm? Oh, not that you've told me. Really, Vanessa, this is the first he's mentioned about it," I said looking at them, slightly confused. "Mr. Nigma, if you have to discuss business with Vanessa..."  
  
Eddie, Vanessa standing right next to him, gave me an irritated look, interrupting me. "Really, Query, I discussed these plans with you right after breakfast. Don't you remember?" he said through clenched teeth. He stared at me meaningfully for a second before turning to smile at Vanessa.  
  
Pursing my lips and scrunching my brow, I acted as if I were trying to remember. Finally, I shook my head. "Nope, sorry boss. I just don't recall any meeting planned for tonight."  
  
"Well, we're having one. Apparently it's more important than I thought." Once more he turned to Vanessa. "I'm sorry, but on these trips, business must always be dealt with. Good night, Vanessa."  
  
"Perhaps after? I'm sure the meeting won't take very long?" she cooed, petting his tie. I made a mental note to burn that tie when we got home.  
  
"I'm not certain how long this will take. I would like to get to bed before too long. It's been a long day."  
  
"Very well. My offer stands, Edward. Goodnight," she said, winking at him.  
  
He jumped a bit, turning a bright red as she smiled and walked off. Without a word, he hurried up to our room. As he kicked his shoes off, angrily tossing his jacket onto a chair, I settled down on the floor to take Tangram's collar off for the night.  
  
"What the hell was that?" he demanded, whirling on me.  
  
"What was what?" I asked innocently.  
  
"You know damn well! I'm trying to stay out of her reach, yet you're trying to push me onto her!"  
  
I burst out laughing then. Eddie had been doing no such thing! If anything, he was still encouraging her.  
  
He growled, angry now as he grabbed my wrist, forcing me to look at him. As I glared at him, he shoved me onto my back, straddling me as he worked to pin me to the floor with his body. I tried to snatch my left hand away from him, but he was quick and once more removed my ring.  
  
"First, get Tangram off of me right now," he said, his voice a throaty and dangerous growl.  
  
Staring daggers at Eddie, I called Tangram off. When Tangram was away, Eddie leaned down until our noses touched.  
  
"Now then, down to business. Ever since we arrived, you've been acting strange."  
  
"Been there, done that. Next," I said.  
  
"Don't interrupt me. We discussed this momentarily this morning. Now in more detail. Yes, Vanessa has been hitting on me. I probably should have warned you about that. Every time we come here, she hits on me. Never to the degree she has this time. My guess is that she sees you as competition, hence why she's going further with things this time around. She isn't a cat lover, so Tangram here gives her more reason to hate you.  
  
"Last night you sleeping in here threw her. It's also the first time she's actually come into the room, I might add. Benny and Trigger usually bunk across the hall, one standing guard at my door. She probably expected you to either be in the other room, or outside the door. Most of her shock last night was probably due to your presence, as well as the panther trick."  
  
By this point, his voice had returned to normal and he sat back some, but didn't let his grip on me up. He kept my hands pinned to either side of my head. Tired of his "I'm right, you're wrong" pattern of speech, I feigned sleep, tilting my head to the side. Really, it was that I had no desire to be reminded of last night. I still seethed at the image of her sitting on his lap, him with his hands on her.  
  
My head snapped back to Eddie when he kissed my neck. He grinned sheepishly at me, tightening his grip enough to keep me immobile when I tried to free myself.  
  
"You haven't earned the right to do that, Mr. Nigma!" I snarled.  
  
"Go back to calling me Eddie and I'll let you go."  
  
"No."  
  
"Fine. Then you'll just have to stay there and listen to what else I've got to say."  
  
"Oh, joy," I grumbled. I didn't want to hurt him, but I was going to if he didn't get off me soon.  
  
He went on telling me how rude I'd been to Vanessa, and trying to pin the blame for all her actions on me. The way he said it, her attitude toward me was entirely my fault.  
  
"I'd just like to add that a little co-operation from you after dinner would have been appreciated. Would it have killed you to agree with me so that I wouldn't have to endure her advances? For god's sake, Dee! She grabbed my ass tonight!"  
  
"Not my fault," I sniffed.  
  
"But it is. Had you backed my story, we would've been able to get out of there before she did anything like that!"  
  
Now I was nearly shaking with rage. He was blaming it all on me! "Are you quite done?" I growled.  
  
"Now, yes."  
  
I spat back everything he had just blamed on me, but telling him the truth of the matter as I had done after breakfast. Everything, from the ride from the airport to her insistence that I was trying to harm her, I threw back in his face. Additionally, I pointed out to him that he never introduced me to her as anything past his bodyguard. I included the fact that I had to learn her name from Henry due to a "slip" of Eddie's mind. What I had observed in the bedroom, as well as out in the hall, I threw at him as he held me pinned to the floor.  
  
"Now get off of me, and give me my ring back before I knee you where you've been keeping your brains ever since we got here!" I demanded, having wiggled my leg free and now pressing it to his groin.  
  
Hurriedly he scrambled off of me, tossing my ring at me. Grabbing my pajamas, I stomped to the bathroom for a shower. I ended up sitting on the floor, crying my eyes out into Tangram's fur. By the time I was done, my eyes were sore. Showering helped, but I still felt miserable and angry. I started to feel sorry for myself, crying over him when he was so determined to be a jerk.  
  
"That's right, Dee. Tied without any real strings to one of the most brilliant minds on the planet, and he's a blind fool. Problem is, I'm tied to him with the only strings that really matter, Tan," I said, looking at the cub who sat on the counter. I patted his head as he looked at me quizzically. "My heart strings, darling. No matter how much I try to hate him, I still love him. I just wish he'd see when he was acting like a complete moron!"  
  
Eddie was sitting in bed with a puzzle book when I emerged. My emotional outburst had left me drained and I wanted nothing more than to sleep. Before I settled down, I tossed pillows and set knick-knacks around the floor by the door in case Princess Plastic decided to try again. Snuggling down with Tangram, I quickly fell asleep.   
  



	9. Cubed Tango

  
  
Since seeing Tangram at Eddie's feet, Vanessa had stopped her little game of footsie. Meals were pleasant enough, save for the fact that I had to look at her highly painted and vacant face.  
  
The meeting was far more enjoyable with her missing from the scene. Both men came back to give glowing reports of their findings on the shells. Henry was more than happy to agree to the final price that Eddie had spoken. Once the money was transferred, we were all dismissed to get ready for the party planned for tonight.  
  
I shook my head as I followed Eddie back up to the room. It certainly must be nice to have enough money to buy hot merchandise, and then follow that purchase up with a large party. At lunch, there had been far more people at the chateau than there had been at breakfast.  
  
First thing when I got into the room, I ducked into the bathroom for a quick shower to freshen up for the party. It also gave me an excuse to avoid Eddie. When I was finished, he took his own shower as I got dressed and fixed my hair. Once more he put on a suit that made my mouth go dry just looking at him. I wanted to tell him how great he looked, but my pride was too great at the moment. Instead I twisted my hair up and put in the enameled hair sticks with dangling question marks. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I smoothed my hands over the fabric of my green silk China dress, embroidered with question marks.  
  
"Wow... You look... Fabulous," Eddie said when I was finished.  
  
"You look nice too," I replied, not giving him full attention as I crouched to put on Tan's leash.  
  
"Seriously, Kitten. Can't we stop fighting for a while?" When I didn't answer, he repeated his question.  
  
"I'm sorry, were you talking to me?" I asked, adding in a bitter voice, "I'm just your bodyguard, remember?"  
  
He sighed. "Fine. If that's how you want to play it. Tonight your orders are to not let Vanessa lay a finger on me. Understand? You're to be directly between us at all times when you need to be. Tangram, when it comes to dining."  
  
I nodded. "If you are ready to go down?"  
  
"Yes. But we're doing it the way I want," he said, hooking my arm in his.  
  
I didn't protest as we made our way down. The hall and ballroom were filled with people already, a live band playing soft music. Eddie took champagne from one of the trays, offering a glass to me. I sipped it slowly, waiting for the vulture to circle and land. She did so quickly.  
  
"You look wonderful, Edward!" she said, stopping a foot away when Tangram got in front of Eddie. A dollar hooker would have turned down the dress she was wearing. I knew that it was supposed to look elegant with its low back, and the cutout over her breasts, but Vanessa's embellished body made it look trashier, if that were possible. "Oh, Edward. This is an important party. Couldn't you have left that _thing_ in the room?" Her eyes flicked over Tangram, and then me, making it clear I was included.  
  
"I'm sorry, Vanessa," began Eddie.  
  
She brightened, interrupting him with a hopeful smile. "Then you will send it back?"  
  
"On the contrary. Wherever Query goes, Tangram goes."  
  
"But you do not need a guard tonight. Of all nights, she should have this one off!"  
  
How diplomatic of her. To thank her for her remarkable show of diplomacy, I refrained from throwing my drink in her face.  
  
"This is the night when I need her the most, Vanessa. With so many new people around, it's better to be safe than sorry," he said, taking a sip of his champagne.  
  
"Very well," she said in a tone that meant the exact opposite. "But you still haven't told me what you think of my dress. I chose it special when I heard you were coming."  
  
"Oh, it's very nice. You look good."  
  
She pouted. "Good? Certainly a man with such a large _vocabulary_ as yours can come up with a better description than good," she said shamelessly fishing for a compliment.  
  
_Sure. Slutty, trashy, whoreish, nickel hooker, skanky, smutty, gaudy..._  
  
"Ah, Edward!" came Henry's voice as he strolled up to us. "You look wonderful tonight, and your bodyguard looks ravishing! There have been many inquiries as to who she is."  
  
"Thank you, Henry. You look wonderful tonight as well," I said, allowing him to kiss my hand.  
  
The look on Vanessa's face could either have melted the ice caps, or brought on the next ice age, depending on how one looked at it. She cleared her throat, getting Henry's attention.  
  
"Oh, Vanessa, you look... nice tonight as well, my dear," he said as an afterthought and as if he were trying to keep from saying something else. He was saved by dinner being announced and he hurried to get to his seat.  
  
Eddie was actually polite to me tonight and sat me before seating himself. I mumbled my thanks as he sat down, draping my napkin across my lap for me.  
  
"Don't forget your orders tonight, Q," he whispered.  
  
"Don't let her lay a finger on you. I know. It'll be hard with the table between you two," I replied. What I didn't say was that I was going to take him very literally. Fingers, not toes, feet, or any other part.  
  
"Fine. We'll be having a talk after dinner, and I expect you to dance with me. You will go along with what I say should she try to ask me to her room again, ok?"  
  
"Yes..." I paused as he glared at me, daring me to call him something other than Eddie. "Sir," I finished, not caring. What was he going to do? Take me over his knee and spank me? I dared him to try.  
  
He sighed, and then joined the conversation. I paid only enough attention to know if I needed to join in or not. I smiled as Tangram finished his meal, squishing himself under my chair, and then wrapping a paw around my ankle before falling asleep. Shortly thereafter, I noticed Vanessa "drop" her napkin and bend to pick it up. Personally, I was amazed her breasts stayed in her dress with that maneuver. It wasn't ten seconds before Eddie asked me a question.  
  
"How's Tangram?" he asked softly, attempting to be sly about his actions.  
  
"Sleeping. He's fine though."  
  
"He isn't doing his job. Her feet are all over me again."  
  
I glanced at Vanessa who was chatting with Henry. "Well, you said to make certain she didn't lay a finger on you," I said, holding up my hands and wiggling my fingers at him. "Fingers."  
  
Snorting, he said, "Any part of her. I want none of her touching me!"  
  
"As you wish, sir," I replied.  
  
Gently I roused Tangram, giving him orders with a combination of hand signals and whispered key words. On my order, he took one of his toys over by Henry. With a bat of his paw, he sent the little ball skittering under the table, diving after it. Vanessa shot up from her seat, shrieking like a banshee.  
  
"That beast was at it again!" she cried out.  
  
The entire dining hall went silent in time to hear Henry say, "What are you talking about?"  
  
"It's you! You horrid little child!" she seethed, turning on me, ignoring Henry. "Ever since you came here, you've been trying to harm me!"  
  
"Now hold on just a second!" I said, not getting up, but giving her a glare that made her shrink back a bit. "How have I tried to harm you?"  
  
"With that horrible fleabag you brought with you! I know you sent him under the table to attack my feet!"  
  
"Tangram? He was under Mr. Nigma's chair playing with his toy. I saw him bat it under there," I said. Tangram had put his front paws on my lap, and was staring over the table at Vanessa, unblinking in a cool feline gaze.  
  
"I know where he was! My feet were there..."  
  
"Under Mr. Nigma's chair?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her, coolly stroking Tan's head.  
  
"They... My feet were..." she stammered, uncertain of how to reply. Instead she turned to poor Henry. "You should not allow your guests to bring filthy, vicious animals to the table, Henry! They shouldn't be allowed in your house at all!"  
  
Henry looked somewhat confused as Tangram trotted up to him, rearing up onto his hind legs and waving his front paws at Henry. "Tangram isn't vicious. He's just a baby and playful, that's all."  
  
"Tangram wouldn't bother your feet, Vanessa, unless you were waving them around. Then he likes to play, but he never uses his claws or teeth if he does that. Besides, they would've had to have been stretched out quite a ways for him to bother with your feet."  
  
"How many times must I say that I was stretching my legs!" she snarled. It made her look so much more attractive, especially now that her hair was tossed about and she was blotchy red in the face.  
  
To his credit, Henry took her by the arm and pulled her back into her seat. "Please, Vanessa. Let's just drop the subject. You are unharmed. The little tiger is no danger to you. Let us sit and finish dinner peacefully, hm?"  
  
"Personally, I don't think he would've attacked your feet, if he did attack them, unless you had raised your feet high. Lap level would be about the height that he would find a foot attractive as a toy. But you couldn't have had your feet that high, could you, Vanessa?" I asked, unable to control the urge to push her when it would be so easy.  
  
Silence filled the hall as Vanessa glared at me from across the table. Finally she answered. "I do not need to answer anything to a repugnant child such as yourself. Edward, how could you bring such filth into this house? The least you could do is hire a bodyguard with manners."  
  
Eddie harrumphed at that. "I do not hire filth, Vanessa. And as with all my help, I do not have any reins on her. She says what she will, even to me. When she goes to far, I will let her know."  
  
"So tell her now!" demanded Vanessa.  
  
"I'm sorry, Vanessa, but I try not to rebuke my employees in public. It's bad form, and does nothing for either side."  
  
"Then I'll do it for you!" she said, leaning across the table. "You are a horrible little wretch who has the manners of a pig!"  
  
"That's very nice of you to say. I'll remember that next time I need advice from a two bit..."  
  
"Enough," growled Eddie under his breath. "Both of you, enough! Vanessa, sit down and finish your dinner! You too, Query." He turned to Henry. "I apologize for this. It won't happen anymore."  
  
"Not at all, Edward. Please, everyone back to the meal." In a soft tone, which I only just caught I heard Henry say, "We will discuss this later."  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  
"You're trying to get me in trouble, aren't you?" Eddie asked me when he took a walk outside after dinner.  
  
"Me? How would I do that?"  
  
"That... fiasco called dinner. Fighting with Vanessa."  
  
"Oh, like I started that! You're the one that said to keep her from touching you. Don't blame me for the methods I have to use to carry out my job! You could always grow a spine and tell her to keep her slimy Frog flippers off of you. I'm _sure_ she would listen to you." The last words were dripping with sarcasm.  
  
A sigh escaped his lips as he paced back and forth. The soft night breeze ruffled his hair and blew his warm scent to me. It took all my effort not to audibly sigh in longing as I looked at him and smelled his body. When he pivoted and came closer to me, it became harder to hold back nuzzling into his side for a cuddle.  
  
_No! He's acting like a moron! Do not give into him until he apologizes properly!_ I knew I shouldn't have had anything to drink. Alcohol just made me all the more susceptible to his slightest charm.  
  
"I should have told her from the moment we arrived that you were my girlfriend. All of this, this fighting between you and her... Hell, the fighting between you and me could've been prevented. I could have been cuddling you in bed last night instead of a pillow." He looked me straight in the eye. "Dee, I don't need Henry and Vanessa as enemies."  
  
"I don't think you need to worry about Henry. He seems about as fed up with her as you are with... Well, I don't think you need to worry about her. She'll never hate you. You know what she wants, and she's enjoying the chase. What exactly is her position in this house, anyway?" _Other than on her back, legs in the air?_  
  
"Personal assistant, nothing more. Yes, I know exactly what you were thinking, Q." He stood for a moment, looking down at me. Before he could say another word, Vanessa called out to him from the balcony. He sighed again, and then motioned me to follow him. "We'll finish this in the room." Reaching the steps to the balcony where Vanessa was, he looked up at her. "What is it, Vanessa?"  
  
"Come inside and mingle, darling! Have a drink and dance with me!" she said, holding out a glass of wine.  
  
Eddie nudged me to retrieve the wine for him, which I did, sniffing the contents as I brought it over to him. I gave him a look of warning as I quickly wavered my shape in the dappled shadows of the garden. The wine had an odd smell to it, bitter and acrid, smells that wine should never be. A strange white residue clung here and there inside the glass. He acknowledged my warning with a nod as he took the glass, pretending to take a sip.  
  
"Delicious, Vanessa."  
  
"It's from my private supply." She noticed me standing silently by Eddie, holding the leash of a very obedient Tangram. "I see you've had a few words with that horrible brat. Enough to set her right for the time being."  
  
I opened my mouth to make a jibe at her, only to have Eddie say, "What occurs between Query and I is strictly our business. Personally I don't know how I got along without her in the first place. I realize that you don't like her, but for my sake, would you say no more of your opinions of her?"  
  
She looked down on me the way Cinderella's evil stepmother must have looked at her. It was obvious she had gone off and had far more than a little bit of wine before showing her face again. "As you wish, darling. Now come inside and mingle."  
  
Eddie obliged her, following her in, but staying far enough away that she couldn't touch him. Discreetly he emptied the wine as we wandered through the party being introduced to any number of people. She practically hit him over the head with the suggestion that he ask her to dance the longer we were around her. Vanessa was plenty annoyed when Eddie finally said, "You know, I think it's time I danced this evening." He smiled at Vanessa, and then turned to me. "Dee, would you care to dance?"  
  
The lift of his eyebrow told me not to argue, but to accept. I handed Tangram's leash over to the nearest waiter, who gladly took him from me. I think the man was pleased enough to see the steam coming out of Vanessa's ears.  
  
"Very nicely done," said Eddie as he spun me onto the dance floor. "Are we through fighting now?"  
  
"Fighting? What would ever give you the idea that I was fighting with you, sir?"  
  
"Mmhm." He worked us over toward the band. I grew suspicious when he whispered something to the bandleader, who smiled widely and nodded.  
  
"What was that all about?"  
  
"That? Nothing." He chuckled as he spun away from the band as the song ended.  
  
The next song started up, and I looked up at Eddie. "Oh no you didn't!" I said, trying to pull away from him.  
  
Quickly, he pressed me firmly against him as the opening strains of the tango started up. "You will dance this tango with me unless you want to make a huge scene and watch me dance with her," he said, nodding to where Vanessa stood watching us.  
  
Setting my jaw, I allowed him to lead me through the steps. To my utter embarrassment, the party guests formed a circle around us and the few other couples that were joining in the tango. An apology was not going to be enough this time.  
  
"Two to tango, Ed... Sir. Not three."  
  
"Ah! You were going to call me Eddie! And there is only two of us dancing, my dear," he said, purposely dipping me and running his hand down my body in full view of Vanessa.  
  
"Perhaps only two dancing here, but three dancing elsewhere. She isn't going to leave you alone, even if you do dance with me instead of her. Tell her who I am."  
  
"And who are you?" he asked, spinning me out and back.  
  
"You know damn well who I am, despite your penis being the head doing the thinking on most of this stop over. Was she a flame at one point? Did you go out with her? Did you _sleep_ with her?"  
  
"Definitely not," he said, haughtily. "I would never sleep with her. She isn't my type."  
  
"'Next to her cheap silicon I look minimal  
That's why in front of your eyes I'm invisible  
But you gotta know small things also count  
You better put your feet on the ground'" I muttered, singing the rest of the song in my head. How appropriate I found Shakira's "Objection" song. And how ironic that it was set to a tango. Even more ironic that I was thinking of my breasts as small, though compared to Vanessa's, they were.   
  



	10. Job Perks

  
  
Midnight finally found us heading up to bed. The talk that Eddie wanted to have with me was cut short when Tangram grunted, pawing at the door to tell me he had to go to the bathroom. Glad for the reprieve, I hurried downstairs and out to the garden with him. Tangram didn't dawdle, but did his business and was more than eager to get back to the room to go to bed.  
  
"Now we're going to talk," Eddie said, locking the door behind me as I came in.  
  
I thought it was adorable the way Tangram scowled at Eddie when I curled up on the couch with him in my arms. He nuzzled my hand, hugging it with his paws as I yawned. "Go on," I said. I kissed the top of Tan's head, watching Eddie's face contort jealously.  
  
"First, thank you for the warning about the wine."  
  
"Sure. Job," I mumbled.  
  
"I was serious what I told Vanessa. She was being rude to you, and it's annoying. A comment or two I could have let slide, but every word out of her mouth about you had to be negative. She only says stuff like that because she thinks it impresses me."  
  
"Mmhm," I muttered, closing my eyes. I was trying to listen. The problem was that I was exhausted. His words faded as I fell asleep.  
  
What seemed like a second later, the click of the door lock awoke me. I looked at the clock, noting that I had only been asleep for twenty minutes. Vanessa was back. Obviously she had seen me leave, but not return. As long as she didn't know I was here, I would make this worth the attack. Slipping Tangram back behind the couch, I quickly leapt off, hiding under the side table in cat form. Eddie's even breathing came from the bed. It was just like him to sleep through this.  
  
The door cracked open and Vanessa's head popped in. She shone a flashlight at the couch, a smug look on her face when she found it empty. The idiot. Quickly she scanned the room for any obstacles before stepping in, turning her flashlight off. Unfortunately I hadn't tossed anything down that would obstruct her way.  
  
Giving myself room, I allowed her to make it to the middle of the room. Starting my run in cat form, I leapt into the air at her, shifting back to human form. The sound of her breath being driven from her body as I tackled her to the floor, grinding my knee into her back, was satisfying. Regrettably, she managed to scream before hitting the carpet.  
  
Suddenly the room was flooded with light as Eddie switched on all the lights. I blinked a couple of times as my eyes adjusted, but didn't lessen my grip on the struggling Vanessa. As Eddie took in the scene, I looked down at her. I had never wanted a biohazard suit as badly as I wanted one right then.  
  
"What's going on?" he demanded, striding over to us. He pulled on a robe as he stopped in front of us.  
  
"Edward! Get this bitch off of me, darling! She attacked me! I'm only here for our rendezvous," she said, anger tingeing the voice she was trying to keep sweet and innocent.  
  
"Ha!" I laughed.  
  
"Get off me, you pig! Darling, she's hurting me!"  
  
"Why did you come back, Vanessa?" Eddie asked. I knew that tone of voice and the cool calm he adopted. Eddie was pissed. Far beyond pissed, actually. I had seen this mood before when I told him some of the stuff that Dr. Matthiessen had said and had done to me when we were in Arkham. This mood frightened me, and I was glad that it wasn't being aimed at me. This was a dangerous mood.  
  
"For you! For _us_!" she pleaded, twisting her head to look up at him.  
  
"Us?"  
  
"Yes! Us! You feel it too, don't you? The passion that burns hotter each time you come? I came to give myself to you tonight!" She paused, trying again to struggle. "This is how you receive a lover?"  
  
"I feel nothing between us, Vanessa," he said evenly. "Why would I feel anything between us?"  
  
Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, "But the wine! I was told it would work!" She caught herself, only too late.  
  
"What was in the wine? Who told you it would work?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing! Nobody!" she spat. "Don't you like my body? You can have me whenever and however you wish, as many times as you wish! I will fill all your sexual fantasies!"  
  
_Can I throw up now? Please?_  
  
"No. Tell me what was in the wine."  
  
"Why? My body is infinitely better than this child's!"  
  
Eddie sneered as he cast a cold gaze down at her. "I'm not into plastic. Now tell me, Vanessa."  
  
His comment made her wiggle furiously. I dug my knee into her lower back, and she stopped, panting. A shower. A very hot shower, with lots of bleach. That's what I was going to need after this.  
  
"Very well. Hold her down until I come back, Query. Tangram, come with me."  
  
I was surprised to see Tangram obey Eddie. The second the door closed, Vanessa let flow a stream of insults and what I could only imagine was very colorful French. I reached over and picked up one of Tangram's balls, shoving it into her mouth. Enraged, she struggled, angry grunts coming from her gag.  
  
"Vanessa, if you continue to struggle like this, I'll be forced to knock you out," I growled, twisting her arms painfully. She had no idea what I was capable of. Graciously, I thanked my Triad training as her struggling stopped.  
  
The door opened and Eddie came back with Tangram trotting behind. Without a word, he crouched next to Vanessa. Grabbing a handful of her hair, he lifted her head high enough to see the dangling muslin drawstring bag in his hand. When he dropped it in front of her, a small puff of white escaped. Vanessa's eyes went wide and she drew ragged breaths in through her nose.  
  
"Now, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way, Vanessa," he said letting go of her hair and removing the gag. "Tell me where this came from and what it is. I'll consider letting Query go easy on you." Eddie nodded to me. "Let her sit up some, Q. Maybe she can't see this well enough."  
  
Slowly she sat up, her legs folding underneath her. I kept a tight grip on her hands in case she decided to lash out. Dejectedly, she stared at the bag.  
  
"Talk, Vanessa. I know you tried to give this to me in the wine tonight."  
  
"Didn't you drink it? I saw you drink it. It should work! I was promised it would work!"  
  
"I never let a drop get past my lips," he said. "If you won't tell me, I suppose I could get some water..."  
  
"It isn't poison. I wouldn't poison the man I love."  
  
"I didn't think you would poison me. Let me guess. This is a love potion, isn't it?"  
  
The shocked gasp that came from her, and her puzzlement was genuine. "How did you know?"  
  
"Wow. You really are dumb, aren't you?" I muttered. A single, cold look from Eddie quieted me. Why was he mad at me for that comment? It was true, and not nearly as vicious as the insults she had thrown at me earlier.  
  
"Why would you make someone love you against his will? I thought it was clear to you that I wasn't interested. Every time I have turned you down."  
  
"I thought you were playing with me. I got tired of waiting. I love you!"  
  
"What do you love about me?" he asked.  
  
"You are rich, famous, and good looking. What isn't there to love?"  
  
"Mmhm. Query, why do you love me?"  
  
"Huh?" Why was he dragging me into this, suddenly?  
  
"Answer the question."  
  
"Because you're smart, funny, you have a great personality, you're a great conversationalist, and just as stubborn as I am," I said.  
  
"Do you care about the money and fame?"  
  
"You know I don't, Eddie. You know I'm in this for the challenge." I realized what he was doing as I said that.  
  
"What do you think about that, Vanessa?"  
  
"An employee may love an employer for reasons like that. She is stupid not to care about the money and fame, however. I could best her as a guard!"  
  
I pulled her head back, grinning at her. "Was that a challenge? If it was, I accept."  
  
"Stupid girl. I do not need to fight you to prove I am better than you. It is obvious I'm already superior to you!" she said sounding nervous.  
  
"That will be enough, Vanessa! Let's get back to this powder. You were going to give this to me. What would it have done? Why did you wait until I had gone to bed?"  
  
"Upon waking and seeing me, you would have fallen in love with me. We would then make love instantly, for hours!"  
  
"Ew..." I began, cutting myself off before Eddie could glare at me again.  
  
"Why do you have so much of this?"  
  
"It must be repeated once a week for three months. Then the person cannot go back. They are always in love with the one who put them under the spell."  
  
"Mind control then. That's what you're talking about," Eddie said in disgust. "You obviously came prepared, certain that it would work." He stood, crossing his arms. "Did it ever occur to you that Query is more than my bodyguard? Query is my girlfriend, and I love her. I will never love someone as shallow and vapid as you, Vanessa."  
  
Her head drooped at that.  
  
"What should I do with her?"  
  
"Get her out of my sight. Do whatever you want with her."  
  
"You can't! Henry will never forgive you! He will never do business with you again!" she protested as I dragged her to her feet.  
  
"Oh?" Eddie went and opened the door. "Is that true, Henry?"  
  
The old man walked into the room, dressed in slippers and a housecoat. In his hand he held one of the comm-units that Eddie had made for him and me. Intense displeasure was Henry's expression of choice as he looked over the now silent, but horrified Vanessa.  
  
"On the contrary, it is you, Vanessa, whom I will not be doing business with ever again. Do you think I did not know what you were doing every meal to Edward? That you had tried this once before the other night, this sneaking into his room?! I don't run a pleasure house, but you certainly think I do! No, Vanessa, if that is the career you wish, there are plenty of them in Paris for you to find work at. You are the one leaving. Query may do as she pleases. In the morning, I will act as if I know nothing of these dealings."  
  
"But Henry!" she began.  
  
"I apologize for this. Query, if you wish for her to keep the challenge, I will make her. I will tell you, however, that she has no fighting skills."  
  
"Then it wouldn't be a fair fight. I won't tarnish my honor in fighting someone with no skills." I turned to Eddie and motioned for my backpack. As I slung it over my head, I said, "Don't wait up!"  
  
The door closed behind as Eddie and Henry talked. I paused only long enough to tie Vanessa's hands behind her before roughly shoving her ahead of me and down the hall.  
  
"What are you going to do to me?" she squeaked.  
  
"I haven't decided yet. Now be quiet and walk. If you're good, it won't be so bad," I lied. She believed my lie. I walked, a spring in my step as I knew exactly what I wanted to do to her.   
  



	11. Let's Pretend

  
  
When I returned to the room, I took a long shower, scrubbing myself down more times than I could count. Never had I felt so dirty in my life! My skin was red by the time I pushed past an inquiring Eddie and flopped onto the couch, cuddling Tangram as I fell into a deep sleep. All I had told him before I fell asleep was that Vanessa had been shielded in view.  
  
The next morning I felt refreshed as we walked down to breakfast. Eddie scoured the walls, I guessed in hopes of finding Vanessa. He looked askance of me a few times, but I refused to answer. Food was what I was interested in, not talking about that foolish trollop.  
  
"Ok. I give up, happy? Just tell me where she is," Eddie whispered, sipping his orange juice.  
  
I smiled and rolled my eyes up at the ceiling without turning my face up. Eddie's eyes followed. He was left choking and sputtering into his orange juice.  
  
"How did she get up there?" he whispered furiously.  
  
"Are you ok, Edward?" Henry asked, patting Eddie on the back.  
  
In response, Eddie pointed discreetly up. I couldn't have asked for a better reaction. Henry looked up and saw Vanessa attached to one of the old shields, trussed up like a Christmas goose. A very scantily clad Christmas goose. The negligee was all she had deemed worth to wear when she returned to the room last night, and I had not let her change.  
  
With a loud, booming voice, Henry said, "Vanessa! What are you doing up there! Come down this instant!"  
  
Once more I got to delight in a perfect reaction as the other guests all looked up. Stifled giggles could be heard around the table, as well as a few bursts of loud laughter. Henry called for two male servants to bring her down safely. Before she was untied, Henry pulled the gag from her mouth, asking who had done this to her. She was so shaken she seemed to have forgotten that Henry knew who had done this to her.  
  
"Edward's guard!"  
  
Calmly, Henry turned to me. "Is this true?"  
  
"Yes, sir," I replied, standing.  
  
"Why would you do this? Did she offend you?"  
  
I wanted to throw my arms around the old man's neck and give him a kiss. "Last night, sir, I caught her sneaking into Mr. Nigma's room for the second time. She also tried to drug him with a laced glass of wine last night," I explained, acting as if Eddie had nothing to do with it.  
  
"Is this true, Vanessa?" Henry asked, playing clueless very well. He must have had plenty of practice with Vanessa in his employ.  
  
"She is lying! She attacked me for no reason!"  
  
"Tell us then," I said, "why you're dressed the way you are, and why you came into Mr. Nigma's room that way? And why, when he twice refused your offer to go to your room for 'negotiations,' did you continue to try? Shall I tell everyone what you were doing to yourself in front of him in the hallway the other night?"  
  
The onlookers held their breath, waiting for her to protest.  
  
"Have you nothing to say in your defense, Vanessa?" Henry asked.  
  
Classic and typical defense of the empty headed twits: Vanessa burst into tears.  
  
Henry shook his head. "Very well, I have no choice but to let you go. You know my rules about fraternizing with clients, willing, or in Edward's case, not. You will go upstairs and pack your things. I will give you until tomorrow to get out of my house." He turned and walked back to his seat. "And for heaven's sake, put some clothing on!"  
  
When Vanessa was led out, Henry asked everyone to be seated and finish breakfast.  
  
"Who helped you get her up there?" he asked.  
  
"No one, sir. I acted on my own," I replied.  
  
"Query, tell the truth. I do not like to be lied to!" Henry prodded.  
  
"Henry, when it comes to something like this, she doesn't lie. I wasn't exaggerating when I said she was a wonderful bodyguard."  
  
"But it took two men to get her down! You are just a slip of a girl!"  
  
Eddie put a hand on his arm. "She has her ways, Henry. I could no more stop her from carrying this out. She insisted upon punishing Vanessa in a fitting way. Jealous girlfriend," he added.  
  
I didn't see it, but I had a feeling that Eddie had given Henry a wink.  
  
"Of course. Nothing worse than a jealous girlfriend. And since our business is completed, Edward, you are welcome to stay around if you wish."  
  
"We have to be going soon, Henry. You know I would stay if I could, but I'm expected in Germany this evening."  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  
"Now can we say we're done fighting?" Eddie asked once we were back in the room.  
  
I shrugged at him as I took Tangram's collar off and ruffled his fur.  
  
Eddie grunted. "Ok, then how about you tell me how you got Vanessa up there by yourself?"  
  
"With a little help from my feline half."  
  
"Dee! What did I..."  
  
"Give it a rest. She was passed out. That woman is about as tough as a rotten banana. One round of peek-a-boo and she was out cold." I demonstrated my version of peek-a-boo, covering my face only to reveal fur and fangs when I uncovered it.  
  
"Incorrigible. That's what you are, Dee Lemma." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."  
  
Pushing him back, I wagged a finger at him. "You still haven't earned the right to kiss me like that. You never learn, do you?"  
  
"Teach me."  
  
I snapped the book I had in my hands shut. Turning, I stepped over to the couch. Eddie grabbed me from behind and hauled me to the bed where he pinned me down. We stared at each other, each waiting for the other to make the first move.  
  
_Say sorry. Go on. Say it, Eddie. Tell me you're sorry for treating me poorly and not caring for me properly since we got to France. Tell me how much you love me, and why you love me. Stop staring at me and speak!_  
  
"Take my handkerchief," he finally said, letting go of my right hand.  
  
I pulled it out, only to have something fall on my chest. Craning my head, I tried to see what it was. Shaking my head, I gave Eddie a disapproving look as he placed his hand over my right breast where the object had fallen. He simply smiled as he lifted his hand. A tiny, silver question marked charm dangled from his fingers at the end of a chain.  
  
"What's that for?" I asked.  
  
"An apology. I was thinking of getting you some tiger lilies, but they don't travel well. There's also something I wanted to ask you."  
  
He was not going to ask me what I thought he was. He had better not!  
  
"While I might sometimes feel contrary to this belief, I am certain that you do love me, and that you will remain faithful to me. However, I'm wondering what I can do to get you to feel the same."  
  
He sat up, still straddling me as he pulled me up with him. He took the necklace and fastened it around my neck. I reached up to touch the question mark that floated in the hollow of my throat. Eddie caught my hand and kissed the question mark before kissing my hand and pressing it to his chest.  
  
"I could swear to you up and down that I'm not interested in anyone else. You went and got that tattoo. I think that says a lot. A strange way to say it, but I don't expect anything normal with you. So what can I do? What can I say? Do you want me to ask you to marry me?"  
  
Immediately I shook my head, looking shocked, even though I had expected him to say something like that. "No, Eddie. I don't need to be married. I'm not the marrying kind, and neither are you, so let's not kid ourselves, ok? Marriage is for people who want to settle down, raise a family, attend PTA meetings, and be normal. We're none of that."  
  
The look on his face was a bit hurt, a bit relieved. He didn't want to marry me, and I knew that.  
  
"Look, when I was growing up, I knew that Li Mei and Jiaoshu were lovers. I also knew that they weren't married. They still aren't, and they never will be. Why? Because that little piece of paper does more to ruin couples and it doesn't make any couple more bonded without it. Jiaoshu and Li Mei have a good life together without that little piece of paper. I look at them, and that's what I think I would like in my life. Think about it, Eddie. Would us getting married really change the way we feel about each other? And would the courts even allow us, two escaped mental patients, to legally wed?"  
  
For a moment, he considered my words, and then shook his head. "No. It wouldn't change anything. But if you did want to marry, would you marry me?"  
  
"Only if you felt it was the right thing to do, and if you really wanted it. I'd be happy just to be your concubine." I paused, smiling up at him and taking his chin in my fingertips. "How about this? There's a song by Prince. I'm not too fond of the original, nor am I a big fan of the purple wonder. My favorite version is by a long defunct group, School of Fish. The song is called 'Let's pretend we're married.' And the lyrics... Well, the song is good, just so long as you don't pay too much attention to the lyrics."  
  
"And people say that I'm confusing," teased Eddie. "Get to the point."  
  
"You asked what you would have to say to get me to believe that you will be faithful. 'Ooo-ee-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah.'"  
  
"Ooo-ee-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah? That's what you want me to say to you?"  
  
I shrugged, smiling slightly as I removed his emerald tie tack. "Do you want to come up with something? It isn't the song rejoinder. It's the title of the song. Think of it as a way of expressing your feelings for me without telling everyone how you really feel about me. You think I'm oblivious as to how you want people to know they can't touch me and that I belong to you. Yet you act aloof and as if I don't matter to you. They aren't blind, Eddie. They know. But to soothe your ego, let's make it seem like you're pulling one over on them and use this code, ok?"  
  
He now scowled at me, ready to argue against what I had said. When I grabbed the knot of his tie, and raised an eyebrow at him, his scowl turned into a forced look of frustration. "Ooo-ee-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah," he said, trying not to smile.  
  
"I thought so. Now I'm ready to move onto the next fight just to see how you'll apologize. The first time, you really did a good job with the mass of tiger lilies and a tiger cub. This time, a tentative marriage proposal and a necklace. What's next?"  
  
"We will not be having another fight for a long time," he insisted, pressing me back to the bed with his chest.  
  
"Silly man. Don't you know that arguments are the spice of a relationship? You're too fun to fight with." I lightly tugged his chest hair through his shirt.  
  
"Ouch! You're violent, you know that? Why do you have to be so damn violent all the time?"  
  
"Violent? Honey, that wasn't violent. If you want to see me get violent, then let's go downstairs and find that stale French pastry. This," I said, giving another light tug, "is called 'playfully frisky.' Don't you know what the definition of 'kitten' is?"  
  
"I take I'm about to be told."  
  
"Indeed you are, good sir. 'Kitten - noun. Soft,'" I said, pressing my soft bits against him. "'Cuddly.'" I nuzzled into his neck, kissing his jaw. "'Playful.'" I batted his tie, and gave him a teasing kiss. Pushing back enough I put a finger under his chin, and smiled at him right before half shifting. "'With claws,'" I finished, nicking his chin.  
  
He winced, but didn't move as a bright red drop of blood formed on his chin. "Claws need clipping," he said.  
  
I chuckled softly as I shifted back. Leaning in, I said nothing as I licked the drop of blood from his chin before kissing him. "Be good to the rest of the kitten, and you won't need to worry about the claws."  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  
We reached the plane a couple hours after lunch. Eddie was pleased to see Benny and Trigger waiting for us. They were a little surprised when Eddie and I stepped out of the back of the car together with no sign of Vanessa. Eddie "discreetly" waved them off questioning, mouthing "Later" to them as they took our bags and hurried into the plane. I lingered on the runway with him for a moment, pressing against him.  
  
"You know, Tiger. I was thinking about your apologies when you make mistakes. And I think I've come up with a solution to all your problems."  
  
"You have, have you?"  
  
"Mm. Six little words, followed by one refrain. 'It's the little things that count.'" I pressed the tip of his nose with my index finger. "Don't forget that and you'll be perfectly fine."  
  
"It's the little things that count? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Just what the words say. You'll learn."  
  
With that I pulled him to me for a kiss before stepping away and walking up the steps to take my seat. We did, after all, have to keep his next meeting in Germany. I wondered if we would get to eat authentic schnitzel and spaetzle. My stomach growled just as Eddie sat down. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, getting up. When he came back to his seat, he handed me a bottle of juice and a package of chocolate chip cookies.  
  
"Ooo-ee-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah," I smiled as I accepted the snack.  
  
He grinned as he sat down, obviously congratulating himself on a job well done. As I sipped my juice, we took off. I just hoped that Eddie's lesson would stay with him. As much as I was touched by the gifts he had given me, I didn't need expensive trinkets or exotic animals as an apology. Doing something as he had just done was perfectly fine with me.   
  



End file.
